To The Girl Who Loves You Next

To The Girl Who Loves You Next

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Dear new girl,

Hello. First, let me start off by saying some things that I'm sure of. I'm sure that we will never have the pleasure of meeting each other. I'm sure you are one amazing girl. I'm sure that you are intelligent. And I'm sure that you are beautiful, both inside and out. But what I'm not sure of is that you fully understand what lies ahead of you. I mean how could you? He seems so fascinating and perfect. He's charming, he's funny, he's handsome, and he's strong. He makes you feel like you're on top of the world. He makes you laugh until you're blue in the face and have tears rolling endlessly down your face. He makes you feel like you are the most beautiful girl that has ever crossed his path. He makes you feel special because he remembers the little details about you, he listens. He makes you feel like the world stops and time is nothing when you two are together. He makes you feel safe. He makes you feel a lot of things.

Let me pause for a second. What I need for you to understand is that these feelings are all something that he wants you to feel. He wants you to feel secure with him. He wants you to feel special by remembering everything you have ever said to him. He wants you to feel that he is just absolutely perfect. He wants you to feel like the world stops when you're with him. Until one day, it's suddenly different. He stops making you feel all of these things.

Now you feel like you are walking on eggshells around him. Now you feel like you are always watching what you say because you don't know what is going to make him mad. Now you feel like you can't tell him what is really going on because he's just going to tell you to "get over it." Now you feel like everything you do "sucks" because that's what he tells you. Now you feel like you aren't the person you once were. Now you just feel different. Now you feel numb, something you never thought you'd ever feel... or let yourself feel from a relationship.

He's changed you as a person. He tries to manipulate the way you view the world. He has a dark and twisted way of thinking, a way you never thought was possible. Someone who was once so charming, funny and handsome is now cold, somber and, let's just be honest, he's just unattractive now. It's crazy, right? In the back of my head, I always thought that somehow and someway he would change. But looking back on it, I feel silly to even have had such a thought; you physically cannot change a person, they can only change themselves.

He's said countless hurtful things to me that will forever and always stay in my memory; I stopped loving myself. Out of all the words I have said in this article, I want you to keep this one thing in your mind. I want you to know that it's okay to let go, you have to; and I promise you that if you do, you will learn to love yourself again. Trust in men may be broken, friends may have been lost, you feel tired both emotionally and mentally but I promise it gets better. The saying "time heals all wounds" is truer now than I have ever thought.

Value yourself. Forgive yourself. But most importantly, love yourself.

Cover Image Credit: Ron Richards Photography

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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16 Things To Expect When You Date A Catholic Woman

She may be a little naughty.

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So you've met an amazing young woman and she's let you know something very important to her, she's Catholic. Now you may be conflicted about what to do, especially if you're not of the same faith or if you don't really have a faith at all. Well let me tell you, not to be scared,

Catholic women are kind, funloving, and overall tend to enjoy life. Depending on the woman or her intensity, don't worry about her forcing her religion upon you. It's a stereotype.

Here is a list of things that you may experience if you decide to pursue this Catholic woman.

1. Church before dates

She may ask you to come to mass with her on a Saturday or Sunday before hanging out. Don't be afraid of this. Even if you are not Catholic, you can still go just to be with her. Nobody is going to be judging you, and if they do, she will 100% stand up for you.

So relax, and appreciate that she loves you so much that she wants to share one of the most important things to her with you. She will appreciate you so much more if you respect her religion and are willing to go to mass just to be with her.

2. She respects her body

And you should too! Not all Catholic women believe in saving themselves for marriage, but a lot do. However, they do respect their bodies and will set boundaries which you should of course follow.

If you can't respect her boundaries or her choice of saving herself then you should not be dating a Catholic woman.

3. Her family and friends mean the world to her

If you don't like her friends or family, the chances of her breaking up with you are very high. So, as every good boyfriend should do, ALWAYS respect her family and, even if you don't get along with them, her friends.

Don't ask her to stop hanging out with them. She'll also appreciate it if you would hang out with her and them on occasion, so buck it up and have a good time.

4. She is loyal to a fault

A Catholic woman is usually in it for the long run. She is looking to grow in every relationship and she's looking for someone to grow with. The chances of her cheating on you are very low, just as low as the chances of her giving you a second chance if you cheat on her.

Yes, the Catholic church teaches forgiveness. She may, just maybe forgive you, but there's no chance that she'll take you back.

5. She will be praying for you and encouraging you to pray

Most Catholic women today will not force their religion upon you. They'll respect your beliefs if you respect theirs. However, don't be shocked if she suggests praying about something or says that she'll pray about it for you.

She has your best intentions in mind so do not blow up about it or get into a 3-hour debate about God not existing. It's just a comment we make.

6. Divorce scares her

It's something most Catholic women are afraid of. They're looking for their soul mate because they believe in soul mates. It's also very tricky in her eyes, because traditionally unless the marriage is annulled she can't date or remarry again. It all depends on the girl and her belief.

So, if you're not 100% serious about a long-lasting marriage it may be something to talk about.

7. She may want a big family

It's a very popular stereotype that all Catholics have large families. My parents only have my two sisters and me, which is usually the number of kids a Catholic woman wants.

However, some girls do want a large family, not even just Catholic women. So, once again, it may be something that you want to talk about. If you don't want kids, she may not be the girl for you.

8. She loves to talk about the future

As I've mentioned, its always best to talk. She may ask you questions like: How many kids do you want? What are your feelings about me working? Would you ever consider becoming Catholic?

Don't let her questions scare you! They may be some pretty big ones, but just answer honestly and be open minded.

And a side note, the Catholic religion teaches that any children that come from the marriage should be raised in the Catholic faith. Do not freak if she asks for your feelings about that, and once again be open-minded, her faith means the world to her.

9. She'll always love God above all things

Don't be jealous. She's not going to cheat on you with God. But her relationship with God is everything to her. She loves Him above even her family, know that and respect that.

10. She may tell you all about her favorite saints

Mine is St. Joan d'Arc and I LOVE to tell her story and brag about her being my confirmation saint. We grew up with these stories. They're like our fairy tales, so just listen and don't complain.

11. She may be a little naughty

Catholic women have grown up with a lot of rights and wrongs. Who likes being told what to do? Because of this, Catholic women can tend to push the limits of what they believe is right and wrong.

Don't be surprised if she wants to be mischievous or try something new. Once again, just respect her boundaries. No means no.

12. Holidays are really important to her

Christmas is exciting for her not only because she gets to give presents to everyone she loves but also because it's when Jesus was born to SAVE THE WORLD!!

Easter season is important to her because its when Jesus SAVED THE WORLD and showed all his awesome powers!

Feast days are to be respected and you'll find her at mass.

13. Her favorite TV shows may be all on TV Land

Personally, I also like "Doctor Who," "Supernatural," "Sherlock," "Stranger Things," "Game of Thrones" etc. But you will also catch me re-watching "I Love Lucy," "I Dream of Jeanie," and these other 13 shows.

14. Her dream vacation is somewhere in Europe

Soooo many gorgeous cathedrals and religious destinations and relics. Rome is definitely one of the cities on her bucket list.

15. She will love you unconditionally

If you have the opportunity to love and be loved by a strong Catholic woman, there will be no greater love you can find. All her life she's dreamed of passing on the unconditional love God has for her to someone else.

Don't mistreat her, and don't use her, because she will love you with her whole heart, but if you do, you will not like her angry... because...

16. She is fierce

And she can kick your arse.

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