You have the appearance of an abundant heart. People believe that your heart is large, strong and sturdy.
They often say, "you have such a big heart," never actually realizing how paper thin it actually is. It used to be large. It used to be strong. You don't really remember what made it so thin and fragile all you know is that this is how you live now.
However thin your heart is you continue to spread yourself even thinner for those you love. Your friends, your family, and yes even that past special someone. You spread yourself thinner and thinner until finally, the page rips.
Sometimes friends leave you. Sometimes they come back only just to leave you again. Some of them take from you and never realize they are taking. Friends can be shallow. Sometimes you need to be too. Sometimes you need to just say no.
A real friend hears you. A real friend has a heart just like yours. A true friend is someone who sticks with you longer than you thought they would. You will find those people. The key to keeping them is honesty, loyalty, and that paper thin heart. You spread yourself out as much as you want and they do the same.
These people will not judge you and tear you apart into shreds. You've had people like that before. You need to remember those people are gone and these people are not them. You felt a hole in your heart, in your lungs. That friend took something from you and continued on.
What was worse is that you gave it so willingly each time until finally, they were greedily taking the muscle from your heart and the air from your lungs. Remember that that friend is not what a true friend is supposed to be. You will find your people, your person, and they will give you muscle and air in order to patch you up until your paper thin heart beats strong and sturdy again.
If you just stay open the right one will come along? You have heard this over and over again. It just...has not happened yet. So you have stayed open, waiting in coffee shops, libraries, and any place where a good love story could be forged. Some of those places have given you love. The love just didn't go as planned. It felt dewy like sunlight at first until... it felt more like something was melting copper in your mouth. Maybe you ended it or maybe they did. Regardless you felt broken by it.
Your paper thin heart is actually pretty big it turns out, especially when it breaks. It's sad to find this out and that big heart of yours swells in the sadness. The sadnesses slow ebb eventually ends as it always does. There is something you can do to change this though.
Stop falling for the wrong person.
Believe it or not, but, you know when the person isn't right. That big beautiful heart knows it. You just keep trying to make them the right person or sculpt yourself into the right person for them. You think that if you change enough you can make it work. You can make them happy and if they're happy you will be too...right?
Wrong, it never turns out that way and it never will.
You have to stop conforming and only caring about the other person's happiness. They have flaws and you don't need to always love them regardless. You can think about yourself and if they can't allow that...then you can't change in order to be with them. You should never change to be with someone. You can change with someone and that's natural too but its different than changing in order to be with that someone.
Don't change. Don't change. Don't change. Don't let them steal your big heart and twist it in their hand. Be bold with that big heart. Be bold and be alone until you find the one that doesn't have to twist and squeeze in order to hold your heart. They will come. Don't cozy up with just anyone because of its cold.
Wait. It is okay to be alone. It just means you'll have more love to give when love arrives.
In short, you may feel like your heart gets so spread out and thinly slices, but it's so very big. It is literally beating with love. Each badum badum a slow swelling cello to how boldly you love. But you can't love everyone. You can't keep changing and twisting for others because eventually, you will snap.
You will recover but your hearts song will never be the same. Don't let the world change your hearts song. Instead, stop giving all of yourself to the wrong people. Stop falling in love with those who take and never give. Fall in love at your pace, give when you can, and most importantly stay open because the best things in life happen that way.