To The Girl Who Keeps Loving The Wrong People

To The Girl Who Keeps Loving The Wrong People

A letter to any girl who loves way too needs to stop.


Dear you,

You have the appearance of an abundant heart. People believe that your heart is large, strong and sturdy.

They often say, "you have such a big heart," never actually realizing how paper thin it actually is. It used to be large. It used to be strong. You don't really remember what made it so thin and fragile all you know is that this is how you live now.

However thin your heart is you continue to spread yourself even thinner for those you love. Your friends, your family, and yes even that past special someone. You spread yourself thinner and thinner until finally, the page rips.

Sometimes friends leave you. Sometimes they come back only just to leave you again. Some of them take from you and never realize they are taking. Friends can be shallow. Sometimes you need to be too. Sometimes you need to just say no.

A real friend hears you. A real friend has a heart just like yours. A true friend is someone who sticks with you longer than you thought they would. You will find those people. The key to keeping them is honesty, loyalty, and that paper thin heart. You spread yourself out as much as you want and they do the same.

These people will not judge you and tear you apart into shreds. You've had people like that before. You need to remember those people are gone and these people are not them. You felt a hole in your heart, in your lungs. That friend took something from you and continued on.

What was worse is that you gave it so willingly each time until finally, they were greedily taking the muscle from your heart and the air from your lungs. Remember that that friend is not what a true friend is supposed to be. You will find your people, your person, and they will give you muscle and air in order to patch you up until your paper thin heart beats strong and sturdy again.

If you just stay open the right one will come along? You have heard this over and over again. It just...has not happened yet. So you have stayed open, waiting in coffee shops, libraries, and any place where a good love story could be forged. Some of those places have given you love. The love just didn't go as planned. It felt dewy like sunlight at first until... it felt more like something was melting copper in your mouth. Maybe you ended it or maybe they did. Regardless you felt broken by it.

Your paper thin heart is actually pretty big it turns out, especially when it breaks. It's sad to find this out and that big heart of yours swells in the sadness. The sadnesses slow ebb eventually ends as it always does. There is something you can do to change this though.

Stop falling for the wrong person.

Believe it or not, but, you know when the person isn't right. That big beautiful heart knows it. You just keep trying to make them the right person or sculpt yourself into the right person for them. You think that if you change enough you can make it work. You can make them happy and if they're happy you will be too...right?

Wrong, it never turns out that way and it never will.

You have to stop conforming and only caring about the other person's happiness. They have flaws and you don't need to always love them regardless. You can think about yourself and if they can't allow that...then you can't change in order to be with them. You should never change to be with someone. You can change with someone and that's natural too but its different than changing in order to be with that someone.

Don't change. Don't change. Don't change. Don't let them steal your big heart and twist it in their hand. Be bold with that big heart. Be bold and be alone until you find the one that doesn't have to twist and squeeze in order to hold your heart. They will come. Don't cozy up with just anyone because of its cold.

Wait. It is okay to be alone. It just means you'll have more love to give when love arrives.

In short, you may feel like your heart gets so spread out and thinly slices, but it's so very big. It is literally beating with love. Each badum badum a slow swelling cello to how boldly you love. But you can't love everyone. You can't keep changing and twisting for others because eventually, you will snap.

You will recover but your hearts song will never be the same. Don't let the world change your hearts song. Instead, stop giving all of yourself to the wrong people. Stop falling in love with those who take and never give. Fall in love at your pace, give when you can, and most importantly stay open because the best things in life happen that way.

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An Open Letter To My Unexpected Best Friend

You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better.

“It’s so amazing when someone comes to your life and you expect nothing out of it but suddenly there right in front of you is everything you ever need.”


Dear Unexpected Best Friend,

You were the person I never thought I would speak to and now you are my very best friend. You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better. I can’t thank you enough for everything you have done to shape me into the person I am today. You’ve taught me what it means to be selfless, caring, patient, and more importantly adventurous.

You don’t realize how much better my life has become and all because you came out of nowhere. I didn’t see you coming. I just saw you on occasion, and now I can’t see my life without you in it. It’s funny how life works itself out like that. Our unexpected friendship filled a hole in my life that I didn’t know existed.

I don’t even remember what life was like before you came along; it most likely had a lot less laughter and spontaneity than it does today. I can call you about anything and you would drop whatever you're doing to help me in any situation. You know when I need encouragement. You know when I am at my best and when I am at my worst. You always know exactly what to say.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

I couldn’t have found a better friend than you if I tried. We balance each other out in the best way possible. You are most definitely the ying to my yang, and I don’t care how cliché that sounds. Because of you, I’ve learned to stop caring what people think and to do my own thing regardless of any backlash I might receive. You are my very favorite part of what makes me who I am to this day.

It’s as if I wished up a best friend, and poof—you appeared right in front of me. I am so beyond blessed to have you and I wouldn’t trade the world for all our memories. Thanks for coming out of nowhere.

Love you forever and a day.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Medders

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To The People I Could Never Live Without

You always did your very best to support me and loved me every step of the way.


Mom, over the years we have grown and developed our relationship beyond what we thought it would ever be. You know I have always been an independent soul, ready to go off on my own from a young age without a single care in the world. As you also know, I am very stubborn and want to do things my own way. Always have, probably always will.

I wanted to thank you for taking such care of me for as long as you did. Knowing you were on your own for the most part, well until Derrick came along. You always did your very best to support me and loved me every step of the way. I still remember you calling me pudding pop for as long as I can remember. I never knew where it came from, but I loved hearing it. Growing up and going through puberty caused a lot of fights for us. You were trying to teach me and make me understand the mistakes I was so hellbent on making for myself. I want you to know that I have always loved you and always will.

Derrick, I honestly can't remember a time when you weren't in my life. You have always been there to support me and cheer me on. You'd pull my baby teeth out when I was too scared to do it myself. You would trick me into thinking I was late for school on Saturday. You watch scary movies with me because I won't watch them alone. We have so many TV series that we've started and abandoned, waiting to be picked back up again.

I want to thank you for treating me like your own, even though I'm not related to you by blood. You have always made me feel loved and cherished and never made me feel out of place. I know I can count on you to be there for me when I need you to be, no matter what. We may not be blood, but you are and forever will be my family.

Dalton, do you know what the first memory I remember with you? Mom was picking me up from daycare after she had gone to the doctors to find out if you were a boy or a girl. I remember that mom and I guessed girl, but Derrick said you were going to be a boy. Mom and I were wrong, obviously, but I remember being happy that we found something else out about you. Even though I was complaining that Derrick was right, I was so excited that we were one step closer to meeting you.

You have been my partner in crime. You watch musicals with me and sing at the top of your lungs when I feel like having a concert in the kitchen. You get involved in everything that interests me as a way to stay close to me. I love you more than life itself. I will forever be there for you for help and advice so don't hesitate to call. If you ever find yourself doubting my affection for you, just remember the time when I almost fought that fake intruder in my towel, fully prepared to fight naked if someone broke in.

I love you all so very much!

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