To the girl who has sat in her shower at 3 in the morning and cried…
You. Are. Not. Alone.
To the girl who has gotten behind the wheel and yelled at the top of her lungs because you feel like every decision you make leads to a path of destruction...
You. Are. Not. Alone.
To the girl who has laid in her bed wondering why she continues to feel hurt and alone….
You. Are. Not. Alone.
Because I have too.
In April of this year, I knew exactly who I was. I was the blonde girl who was in choir, cheered and was in a class of only 49 people. I knew what my purpose in that school was and I knew what I wanted to do with my life.
My plan for my life was to find that “perfect” guy my first semester of college, fall in love with him, graduate with a degree in Communications and eventually have two children of my own.
But ever since I graduated high school, I have felt like what I had in store for my life isn’t going to happen and honestly - it sucks. Watching your ideas crumble to the ground right before your eyes is really difficult to bear. It has left me feeling that nothing in my life is okay.
I have a bad habit of falling for people too fast. It’s difficult being a girl, but trust me, it is even more difficult being a girl that gets attached easily. I love people really hard and more often than not, people don’t feel the same way about me. This makes me feel like there is something wrong with me. People will keep interest in me for a short period of time and then vanish and it leaves me in tears in the middle of the night because I take on all types of burdens. I tell myself it is because my personality is dull. That there isn’t enough to me to keep people interested.
I have a bad habit of making the wrong decisions. I decide that instead of being around people that actually want to be with me, I instead lock myself in my room and push the world out of my life because I think that is the safest way for me to run away from that feeling of rejection.
But I’m tired of feeling this way.
I’m tired of being angry at the world. Because it has made me feel anger towards someone that has given me life. I’ve grown angry at God.
Satan’s favorite thing is to build up anger in our hearts. He tells us we are insecure and that we are worthless and a God that loves us would never let us feel this way.
But I say that he is so wrong.
God puts us through storms so that when we come out of them we are able to look back and see how He used it to make us stronger. But we have to persevere through the storm, and our insecurities, and our loneliness.
If we are diligent in this battle, He will make us stronger than we could ever imagine.
Those long drives where you have no destination will no longer be due to built up anger. They will be to find new adventures.
You will lay in your bed unable to sleep but not because of the burdens you feel. It will be because your mind won’t let you stop thinking about all the good things in your life.
Those middle of the night showers will no longer be filled with tears.
You will find joy in the Lord and will realize that You. Are. Not. Alone.
