Just hear me out.

I know you’ll continue to deny that you actually aren’t chasing after that boy, but face it—you are. You spend hours stalking him on social media to see what he’s up to and why he won’t answer your texts. You’ll even succumb to double texting him to see what’s really “going on” or if he’s just blowing you off. At first, you don’t even consider your actions as chasing; you just think it’s normal to want to hold casual conversations with that guy. With time, though, you notice that the conversations that last for hours turn into responses that won’t be received for hours. You’ll stare at your phone, waiting for his name to pop up, hoping he’ll FINALLY ask YOU to hang out, and you won’t have to worry about making the plans AGAIN. Well, you were wrong. Instead, it was just a text that said, “Hey sorry I fell asleep, again.” I mean, I know boys sleep a lot, but buddy, how many naps can you possibly take? Instead of asking him the real questions, like why he’s starting to distance himself and ghost you, you say, “Oh, it’s no big deal! What are you up to today?” You know you’ll respond the second he answers, but after sending your message, you’ll have to wait another two or three hours to get a response.

Once you reach that point where you feel like you’re chasing after that guy, but you continue to tell yourself that you’re really not, you may start to feel desperate. I don’t mean this in a negative way, but it’s more of a desire to have “that person” that you thought you always had. You were under the impression that both you and that guy had the same thoughts and feelings about the “thing” that you had, but clearly it was only one-sided. You still try though. You still make those plans that take hours to figure out, texting him enough times until you can actually get his attention, no matter how “weird” you may seem by being persistent. I mean, I’m sure you were told by your guy friends that guys like when girls make the first move—texting first, making plans, etc. Clearly, they were wrong. THEY like when girls make the first move, but that guy that you’re trying to go after doesn’t seem to care.

You probably think you’ve done everything in your power at this point to get that guy, but part of you wants to keep trying. I’m telling you, honestly, to just stop now. It is not worth the time or effort to chase after someone that isn’t showing evident signs of interest, so that will only hurt more as time goes on. It may be hard to not instinctively go into your messages and text that guy, or expect a snapchat from him almost every few minutes, but it gets easier to not think about it as you move on. Trust me, it’s better for you to not chase after that guy anymore. Instead, wait for that guy who wants to chase after YOU, because he’ll actually be interested and show that he cares, and that’s what will be worth it in the end.