I think it's easy to say that we've dreamed of the one since we were little girls. We watched the Disney movies where the princess falls in love with the prince and he does everything he can to prove his love to her. We've all desired for the kind of love that we give, at least I did. In this world today, we struggle to believe that someone can actually love us. We've experienced the heartbreak. We've heard the "you're not good enough," or the "I should've chosen you, but I didn't," or worse... we hear the lie in "I love you. I will never leave you," only to wake up one day and never hear from them again. These repeated stories make us believe that there isn't a person out there for us. But there is.
He is going to come. He is going to love every single part of you. He is going to fight for you even when you try to push him away. He is going to prove to you that not all guys lie and leave. He is going to show you that you are more than enough. He is going to make you feel beautiful and worthy. He is going to look at you like no one has ever looked at you before. He is going to build and plan a future with you and stick with it no matter what comes your way.
I found that. I know you will too. But let me tell you, it's more than just finding him and telling yourself that "okay, the work is done." No. You see, the butterflies and the nervousness will fade over time. But choosing to love him every day is work. You are going to fight with him. You are going to argue and think he is unreasonable and annoying. You are going to drive each other mad to the point where you feel like you aren't compatible or you just simply can't make it work. Stop right there. Love is hard. Whoever said that love is easy and rainbows and sunshine all the time, was wrong. Love is fighting for the relationship because you can't see yourself without him. Love is encouraging one another to grow. Love is shaping one another to be better. Love is sticking besides one another when you are faced with voices in your head telling you to just let go.
I've been there many times. I would sit there and cry because I would tell myself that he didn't truly love me when he sat right next to me telling me that he does. I grew up loving romantic movies and young adult love story books that built up an image in my head of what I thought love was. Then I met him and realized I didn't know what love was until I looked at my future and saw him in it. I looked at my future without him and I couldn't breathe. I cannot express enough that love is not easy. You will always hear different opinions and insights of what a relationship should be like and what it shouldn't be like, but honey, never let anyone tell you that the man for you will never get you upset. They are wrong.
I hate getting into arguments with my boyfriend. I hate allowing my anxiety to tell me that he is going to leave. I hate allowing others to tell me that he is just going to disappear one day and that all of this is a lie. Why do I hate it? Because I have a guy that loves me. That encourages me. That pushes me towards my dreams. That leads me towards God. That tells me that I'm beautiful. That tells me I'm wrong when I am. That only strives to make me better.
I know things can get hard in your relationship. There are going to be the rough patches where you feel like just walking away and giving up because it would be easier for you or for them, but don't do it. Keep fighting. Fight against the odds. If you love him, fight for him. I promise you, he is fighting for you too. If you love, don't give up on him. I promise you, he is not giving up on you. If you love him, it's okay to tell him what hurt you. I promise you, he will tell you what hurt him. If you love him, grow with him. I promise, he is wanting the same thing.
There are great guys out there and there are guys that aren't. When you find the one that you know is the person you want to spend the rest of your life learning with, growing with, and loving... keep fighting. You will make it and one day, you will look back and be thankful that you never walked away from the person you dreamed of wanting since you were a little girl.
so to the girl that found the one, don't give up. keep fighting.
much love, andrea.