"Why do I look like this? Why don't I feel good enough? Why does my hair look like this? Why don't boys like me? Why do I feel so ugly? Why do I feel so empty all the time? What does she have that I don't have?"
These are all of the thoughts going through my mind when I look at myself in the mirror. I feel worthless, empty, and sad. Growing up, I realized I wasn't like other girls. I didn't feel good enough when it came to having a significant other. I felt as if I didn't have what the boys wanted. I figured out they weren't what I wanted.
Once I found out what the boys really wanted in life I knew it wasn't meant to be this way. I wanted someone to chase after me. I wanted to feel wanted. After putting more effort into certain relationships, I became extremely aware of what type of person I was and what exactly I wanted. I didn't want to rely on someone for my happiness, I wanted to create my own happiness. Knowing I had to achieve this goal, I finally started to change my perspective about life.
I started to analyze that maybe the reason I felt worthless was because of the boys I was pursuing. I was trying to pursue unavailable and unethical boys who had their minds wrapped around one thing. There was something about winning over a boy whom was unavailable at the time to myself that felt so good in the end.
I realized after a while that I needed to focus on finding myself rather than looking for someone else to fill that space. I started to focus on myself by spending time with family, friends and focusing more on career goals.
Even though finding yourself is a work in progress, setting goals and thinking positive is a great start! Spreading happiness, radiating kindness and being positive is such a great outlook on life! Whether you're single or whatever your relationship status is, when you possess all of these traits people will be drawn to be around you.
So, to the girl who feels down about herself, don't! You shouldn't be spending your life looking for that other person because you probably won't end up finding what you are looking for. Instead, don't get so caught up in not having a boyfriend. This is a hard task to complete which I still struggle with but as women we have to be able to stand independently on our own. Being in a relationship shouldn't define who you are as a person. Being your own person and having values and goals should be your motive in life. Be kind and positive then positive people and experiences will come your way.
