I've always been the girlfriend that needed to know everything about my boyfriend's past. It wasn't because I wanted to judge or get pissed, but I wanted to learn what not to do when it came to my relationship. If I cared enough to ask about his past, I cared enough about him to want to better myself in every way I possibly could. When I first started dating my boyfriend, every night before we went to bed, we both would talk about our past relationships.

The happy times, the sad times, and the times that we realized this wasn't the person we wanted to be with for the rest of our lives.

I told him about my very first boyfriend, how he lied, hurt, and cheated on me. I told him that I realized I had absolutely zero feelings for the boy he was but had feelings of the idea of actually being in love.

I told him about the first time I fell in love, and how hard I crashed and burned when he left. He never once made me feel bad for having those kinds of feelings, but he expressed his gratitude for that man because whether or not he knew it at the time, he was about to build me into a whole new person that couldn't be destroyed again.

He told me about different girls he had been with too.

Some he had absolutely no respect for, and others he still wishes good things for.

That's the thing about the two of us, though we have been hurt in the past, and though our hearts are in completely different places than they once were, we are still so indebted to those past relationships.

My ex was someone I thought I would marry. After only knowing him for 6 months, I told practically everyone he was the man I wanted to spend forever with. I planned my entire future around him, only to have it come falling down right in front of me.

The thing is, I thought that I knew he was the one I wanted to marry.

I later found, after being with my current boyfriend for two years now, that I didn't know how my ex got angry. Like blood boiling, face red, veins popping, angry.

I knew how he was when he wanted me to see him. I became so infatuated with that man that I almost forgot there was a whole other side that I still hadn't seen.

If I would have continued on in that relationship without having him hurt me, I think I would have ended up with someone I didn't actually know.

My boyfriend now is so grateful that my ex didn't appreciate me so that he's able to appreciate me today.

As for me?

I, too, am grateful. Not only for the many men who didn't appreciate me but for the women who didn't appreciate him.

I get to do it all on my own, and so far, I know I'm doing a hell of a job.

You may not have appreciated this man for all he was, but now I get to. I am so close to being able to spend the rest of my life with this amazing guy, and if it weren't for you all, I know the roads wouldn't have aligned perfectly enough for that to have happened.

If he didn't find out that he loved how driven I was to compare it to his past girl's that weren't.

If he didn't find out that I am a little over the top OCD clean, he wouldn't have learned to appreciate the moments when I let loose and am a tad dirty.

If he didn't get the chance to connect with me on both a physical and mental level, in a way, he could never connect to any of you. He would have spent his whole life not realizing how good it could get and deciding to settle because of it.

I. Am. So. Appreciative. Of. You.

That's something not many girls say or even want to admit, but damn I surely mean it.

He's learned to love:

harder,

better,

smarter,

happier,

and kinder.

Do you remember your first crush in middle school? How it felt when you found out that very next week he had a crush on the girl in your class? You were so heartbroken because you thought he was the one.

Only to find years down the road you'd go through a lot of middle school crushes.

Eventually, you'd find one that exceeded all the previous ones you were with, and it just kind of fits.

That's what you were to him, a middle school crush.

We've all had them, and I'm sure we've all been them.

I use to hate them because I lost so many people I thought I loved, but now?

I'm so thankful for them, for you.

To the girl who didn't appreciate him,

Let me show you how it's done.