Dear past me,
I know it feels like your world is falling apart. People can be very cruel. However they don't understand. They don't understand that you were suddenly thrown into a house with a grandmother with severe dementia who needs a babysitter 24/7. Even teachers don't understand. They don't see the world you live in: where you're trying your best to do great in school, take care of your family, and actually have friends/social life when all you want to do is crawl in bed and stay there. I know you're fighting just freaking out in the bathroom stall on campus (again). It suddenly feels like all the pressure from everything hits you at once.
I remember the girl I used to be: the very clueless girl with divorced parents. Not completely understanding the world around me since I lived a sheltered lifestyle. I remember moving and thinking "Okay a public high school after graduating from a parochial elementary-middle school. This should be interesting." I remember walking in on the first day and being very shocked at what I saw around me. Seeing all different styles of clothing, hairstyles, and a variety of people. After school, I went home and just sat there thinking, "Okay first day was shocking. Next four years will be a roller-coaster." That statement was only semi-true. Four years after, I was looking forward to graduation and seeing what college was like. But that's when everything hit. Moving back to my grandmother's, learning she has dementia, and realizing she wasn't going to get better, only worse. That was also the time I decided to cut the toxic people from my life including half of my family who kept putting me down for my dream of becoming a photographer.
Recently, I ran into people I knew from middle school as well as somebody else from my high school. Both pointed out how different I have become since then. I toughened up and learned how to defend myself. Even if things weren't the same all the time, I knew certain people would always be there and support me through it all. But my #1 supporter is definitely my mom. She's supported me through it all and has always been the shoulder to cry on or the person to vent to (even if neither of us know what the other is saying. I admit, when I get really mad, I talk gibberish or way too fast to be understood)
So dear past me,
Yes things were tough at times, but you can make it through it. You're now almost a college graduate and you're still going for your dream as a photographer. Yes you will not get along with everybody, but that's okay.
Dear future me,
Keep following your heart and hold the people you care about most close. Like a former teacher told you, "If you follow your heart, you'll be happy. Don't conform to please others. Be you. Be unique. That's what matters most and you'll be happier that way."
