To The Girl That Plans

To The Girl That Plans

Life sometimes doesn't go according to plan, but that's okay.
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I have always been a planner. Ever since I could write, I kept journals and diaries hidden under my bed. I fill my planners and phone calendar with to-do lists and assignments. I love plans and I love when I can stick to them. I am determined to see my plan to the end.

Since I was a little girl I have consistently been asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” My first response at kindergarten graduation was atypical: I wanted to be what I called “a nail painter.”

There was a point in my childhood I wanted to be a pop star and then an actress. My friends and I obsessed over our go-to sleepover game, M-A-S-H. When it came to our futures, the sky was the limit. We knew who we wanted to be, the boy we wanted to marry (even if we claimed he had “cooties”) and where we wanted to live. As we grew up, we changed and so did our plans.

In high school when we were asked this question our answers became more relevant and serious. Not only were we expected to answer seriously, but this question was asked more frequently as the four years went on. It didn’t matter if we didn’t want to think about it, we were forced to.

As I entered high school, my plans for my future included one specific university whose colors are navy, gold and green and a job as a sports broadcaster. My friends and I talked about going to college together and visiting others that were further from us. We talked about all getting our dream jobs and having our kids be friends. We fill our Pinterest boards with our dream home and dream wedding, which are all great things.

What happens though when your plans unravel in front of you? What do you do when that boy wants nothing to do with you? What do you do when you get injured before the sports season your senior year? What do you do when a family member tragically passes away? What do you do when you didn’t get into the college you have been planning on since the second grade? What do you do when you can’t sleep at night because you don’t know what you are doing tomorrow or with the rest of your life?

Don’t worry – I’ve been there.

After so many “worst days ever”, I believe there comes a time when we realize that our fate is not in our hands. We can try our hardest, but that is the best we can do, try. Life is going to give us more curve balls and speed bumps than we think we can handle, but it will be easier if we fully trust that we are in the right place and we are a here for a reason.

So, to the girl who always has a plan like me- keep planning. Write it all down. Share it with others. Make new friends, but always keep your old ones close. Move on from that guy that shattered your heart. Spend all the time you possibly can with loved ones and your family. You’ll always be your daddy’s little girl and your mom will always be your hero and role model. Remind them that. They had plans and one of them included you. Enjoy every rainy day and the spontaneous road trips with friends. Remember your purpose, even when you don’t remember your plan.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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An Open Letter To The Friend Who Became My Sister

Love is thicker than blood.
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Sis,

There are friends. Then, there are best friends.

According to "Grey’s Anatomy’s" Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang, they're your person. The one who, “if I murdered someone, I’d call you to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor.” You’re so much more to me than any of those titles can express.

As I’ve matured throughout the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that good friends with good hearts serve an incredibly important purpose in our lives, going above and beyond what we give them credit and appreciation for.

The family we choose. You’re one of those.

The day we met, I knew that you were going to play an important role in my life. What I had no idea of was that you would join the cast of my life with a starring role.

First, I need to say thank you. Thank you for always coming to my locker to check in before class during high school. Thank you for letting me control the music on road trips. Thank you for sharing your family with me, and addressing my family as if you were born into it.

Thank you for patiently listening to the physical embodiment of a broken record when I complain about the same boy I’ve loved since senior year. Thank you for tagging along on every doctor’s appointment, grocery run, and trip to the post office, just because you know that I hate doing things alone.

Thank you for not thinking twice before dialing when I text you “please call me.” Thank you for never saying no to a coffee date. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for being my better half.

We don't share the same genetic makeup, but after all the sleepovers, heart-to-heart conversations, shopping until our bank accounts cry, and swapping clothes so often that we don’t know what belongs to whom, how could I not consider you family? We have shared some my fondest memories together, and I wouldn’t want them to feature anyone but you.

You’ve been with me on my best days, and loved me on my worst. You know how to make me laugh when all I want to do is crawl into a hole and die.

Picturing sitting in my car with you in the passenger seat makes me long for summer, where we spend three months together doing all of our favorite things. You’ve seen me naked, done my makeup, and warned me before making a poor decision. Being away from you for extended periods of time makes me feel incomplete.

You are a piece of me that I am not quite whole without. You taught me that blood doesn’t make a family; love does.

You know me better than I know myself, which is both amazing and terrifying. You make me realize I’m enough for this world, and that means more to me than I know how to express in the limited words that make up the English language.

You remind me that I am more than my mistakes, and you keep me grounded when I spiral out of control. You’ve helped me carry my burdens along with your own, even when the universe comes down on you full force, way harder than you deserve.

You’re the one I come to for the truth if I think my new dress makes me look fat, and I know you’ll be honest. I trust you with my whole heart. You know the gory details about every boy I’ve ever crushed on, every professor who was an absolute jerk, and every fight I’ve had with my mom.

I wouldn’t make it in this life without someone who already understands and listens to every thought going through my head and each thing I seriously over think, even when you know, though you don’t say, it won’t matter in a week.

With all these affectionate things being said, don’t forget our fights. The few we’ve had were very real. We still don’t see eye to eye on some events of the past, but I never told my mom about it because there was no need to make her choose a side between me and her “second daughter.

We have learned to move forward, because the love we have for each other overwhelmingly outweighs any disagreement we’ve had, and always will.

Through all the tears and laughs, I don’t think that anything the world has to offer could seriously come between us. You go to a different school than me now, and college has rudely gotten in the way of our routine of spending every waking moment together.

Since we met, we’ve grown separately without growing apart. Neither of us are the same person we used to be all those years ago. Even so, we’ve pushed each other to our limits and you’ve given me the courage to keep going and do things that make me happy.

We lean on each other when it’s been a bad day and all we want to do is to snuggle and indulge in whichever show the other is currently watching unceasingly and unabashedly for comfort (it’s the little things). Having you as my co-pilot on this crazy ride called life has been frustrating, exciting, slightly concerning, absolutely insane, and something I don’t know how I would live without, and I don’t intend to find out.

I’ll conclude this letter with a quote from every basic, white girl’s favorite musical, “I don’t know if I’ve been changed for the better, but because I knew you, I have been changed for good.”

Love you forever,

Your sis

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Sister, Thank You For Always Being My Backbone And Always Having My Back

I can't even express into words how grateful I am to have you as my sister, because I know that you are one of the people on this Earth that genuinely just wants to see me happy and thriving.
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Dear Sister,

Thank you for always being honest with me; whether I want to hear it or not.

I know at times I don't tend to think about things rationally and I can get ahead of myself. Thank you for always being my voice of rationality and reason, even though I sometimes get mad at you for telling me the complete, honest truth because it is not what I'm wanting to hear.

Thank you for having my best interest at heart.

I can't even express into words how grateful I am to have you as my sister, because I know that you are one of the people on this Earth that genuinely just want to see me happy and thriving.

Thank you for teaching me how it is possible to be so angry or upset with another person at times, yet still love them unconditionally.

I know our fights can sometimes get ugly and intense, but I know that we love each other no less even when we're extremely pissed off at one another.

Whether it's because you borrowed my shirt without asking or because we were just giving one another attitude, I know that our fights won't last for more than a few hours- if they're REALLY bad, maybe even a couple of days, max.

Thank you for just being my shoulder to cry on or vent to after I'm sad over a stupid boy, get into a fight with Mom or Dad or just a compilation of little things I choose to unnecessarily get upset about sometimes.

It's a true blessing to have someone like you in this life because I know for a definite fact that I can always go to you with whatever it is that's on my mind.

Even if it's something that you get annoyed with me for talking about over and over, or just something you don't want to hear, I know that I can always count on you to listen and never judge.

Most importantly, thank you for being you.

There is nobody on this earth that knows me like how you know me, because of the special "sibling connection" bond we share. Thanks for getting my sense of humor and always seeming to know what I'm thinking.

Our bond is something I cherish and am so blessed to have you as my person and sis throughout this lifetime.

So thank you, Sis, for being you, and for always being there.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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