I have always been a planner. Ever since I could write, I kept journals and diaries hidden under my bed. I fill my planners and phone calendar with to-do lists and assignments. I love plans and I love when I can stick to them. I am determined to see my plan to the end.
Since I was a little girl I have consistently been asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” My first response at kindergarten graduation was atypical: I wanted to be what I called “a nail painter.”
There was a point in my childhood I wanted to be a pop star and then an actress. My friends and I obsessed over our go-to sleepover game, M-A-S-H. When it came to our futures, the sky was the limit. We knew who we wanted to be, the boy we wanted to marry (even if we claimed he had “cooties”) and where we wanted to live. As we grew up, we changed and so did our plans.
In high school when we were asked this question our answers became more relevant and serious. Not only were we expected to answer seriously, but this question was asked more frequently as the four years went on. It didn’t matter if we didn’t want to think about it, we were forced to.
As I entered high school, my plans for my future included one specific university whose colors are navy, gold and green and a job as a sports broadcaster. My friends and I talked about going to college together and visiting others that were further from us. We talked about all getting our dream jobs and having our kids be friends. We fill our Pinterest boards with our dream home and dream wedding, which are all great things.
What happens though when your plans unravel in front of you? What do you do when that boy wants nothing to do with you? What do you do when you get injured before the sports season your senior year? What do you do when a family member tragically passes away? What do you do when you didn’t get into the college you have been planning on since the second grade? What do you do when you can’t sleep at night because you don’t know what you are doing tomorrow or with the rest of your life?
Don’t worry – I’ve been there.
After so many “worst days ever”, I believe there comes a time when we realize that our fate is not in our hands. We can try our hardest, but that is the best we can do, try. Life is going to give us more curve balls and speed bumps than we think we can handle, but it will be easier if we fully trust that we are in the right place and we are a here for a reason.
So, to the girl who always has a plan like me- keep planning. Write it all down. Share it with others. Make new friends, but always keep your old ones close. Move on from that guy that shattered your heart. Spend all the time you possibly can with loved ones and your family. You’ll always be your daddy’s little girl and your mom will always be your hero and role model. Remind them that. They had plans and one of them included you. Enjoy every rainy day and the spontaneous road trips with friends. Remember your purpose, even when you don’t remember your plan.
