Dear Beautiful,
After talking to many people about self-discovery, it seems many people are not quite sure who they are or what their purpose is. Self-worth is a hard lesson to learn.
I have found this especially true with teenage girls, myself included. There were so many times that I was harsh with myself thinking or assuming that other people were figuring it out before me.
What made them seem that way? Maybe it is maturity or the life experiences we have had.
There are girls I know who have lost a parent making them take on more responsibility sooner than others. Some handled it with grace and others with immaturity, or not at all.
Other girls have been expected to take on a lot of responsibility at home because of parent issues, financial problems, and so on. This can really force a young girl to take on adult responsibilities and adult decisions much faster. Their self-worth is defined by their situation.
Then, there are girls who just want to live a normal life in a world where they are accepted, not judged. My experience has included mean girls who chose to gang up on individual girls for the purpose of breaking their spirit or their dreams.
It made absolutely no sense to me, as my upbringing was one that included acceptance and tolerance, making it even harder to understand. This is where confusion can come into play and some self-doubt.
What qualities does a person need just to survive the high school drama? The best thing anyone can do is to make every attempt at being authentic.
If you don't want to change the essence of who you are then trying to find people that share common values and goals is your best shot. In my case, my circle included people of all ages and interests. My self-worth is found in the genuine relationships with friends who appreciate and value me.
It really isn't about being popular, as much as being treated with dignity and respect. It does help to get involved in a club, church, or group that reflects your passions.
I found out that volunteering was one of my passions. First of all, it helps to see others overcoming hardships and to be a part of their solution.
There are so many organizations where your time and talent can be used. If you aren't sure which one to work with, research online or ask others for input.
I was fortunate enough to have an amazing teacher guide me to a couple of organizations where I worked building homes for the needy and helped immigrant students immerse themselves in American culture. Sometimes worrying too much about fitting in and being "normal" is just too much. Is there really an answer that fits all of us who are trying to figure it out?
The real secret is realizing how many people struggle with understanding their own self-worth. It might be more than you think.
There are hardships, such as mean girls, bullying, and social media, that seem to intensify the struggle. One of my personal decisions was to eliminate people from my social media feed who didn't bring good energy into my life.
Honestly, the number of "friends" or "likes" I receive is so meaningless. Some people have thousands of followers and yet never seem to have any genuine posts on their social media accounts.
If you're having a rough day, what will thousands of Instagram likes on a picture really do to help? The impact that social media can be so negative, that it takes personal power and responsibility to set limits.
Knowing your self-worth will make you a stronger, happier person. You need to be around people who highlight your value and appreciate it.
You need to do things that lift you up and fuel your passions. There is hope for finding your own self-worth and understanding who you are. It just takes some dedication and hard work to find it.
