To the friends who left,

Thank you.

Thank you for teaching me early on how to fend for myself.

We're starting a new year with new days, new possibilities, new memories, and new lessons. I've been looking back at the last few years of my life and I'm honestly so thankful for everything you taught me.

We're always taught that true friends stand by you no matter what. They're supposed to support you, tell you when you've screwed up and hug you when you're feeling down.

It took me too long to figure out you weren't the definition of a true friend.

You gave me ultimatums and shut me down any time I started to talk about something I loved.

You never let me grow and you constantly kept me on such a tight leash.

See, I was always afraid to walk away because you made me feel like I was lucky to have a friend. You put me down in such subtle ways that you made me believe I was only worth having one "friend."

It took me far too long to realize that I deserved better.

I got so wrapped up in the constant attention that I didn't realize it was such negative attention. Because of just how much you controlled my life, I never understood what it meant to be an individual. I never learned how to stand up for myself, I always let you speak for me.

A lot has changed since then, I'm proud to say.

Once I removed myself from the toxic friendships, I immediately noticed what was happening. Suddenly, I had to decide for myself if I was going to meet up with the rest of my friends to hang out. It was up to me whether or not I wanted to stay home one night.

It wasn't until I was out of the friendship that I realized how reliant I had become on you. And that wasn't a good thing.

I never learned how to be independent and I never learned how to stand up for myself. In the last few years, I've learned so much about myself as an individual.

I'm okay with going to the dining hall by myself to grab a quick bite before class. I used to believe I'd be judged if I was sitting alone, but once you left I realized that I didn't really care.

Now, I don't mind going to the gym on my own. I hated walking in on my own because I was so used to be dependent on someone else. I love going, even when it's still with others, and knowing we all do things at our own pace.

In leaving, you taught me how to be an individual. You made me dig deep and learn about myself. I learned about what I value and what characteristics are essential for a true friend.

Everyone who knew me throughout my self-discovery has made it a point to tell me just how proud they are. They notice how different I am. How much happier and more confident I have become.

I thank you for that.

My goal for 2017 is to keep growing. To keep learning about me. I want to learn even more how to be an independent and not rely on anyone else.

So thank you for leaving. Thank you for being one of my biggest teachers.

Sincerely,

The one you left.