Dear Dad,

I am not sure if I should even call you that anymore, as a dad is someone who puts their kids as a top priority. I put this off for so long, fearing what your reaction to this letter would be because there is a good chance you will see this. I have finally decided to push through my fear and make this public.

Having you step out of my life on such a short notice was the beginning of so many challenges, but it was also the beginning of a lot of successes. You have missed out on so much of my life in the past four years. You missed me getting my driver's license and buying my first car. You missed my prom, my high school graduation and moving into college. You missed seeing me grow from an ignorant child to a successful young adult. I have changed so much since the last time you saw me. My personality, attitude, and perspective took a complete 180 from the time you left. I would hope that you would be proud of me, but please don’t view my achievements as one of your own. You made all of my milestones and accomplishments more difficult to get through, but that also made me appreciate these victories so much more.

You have put me through so much more pain than you even realize. You were not there to witness the countless nights I spent crying alone in my room, wondering if life was even worth it. My depression and anxiety were at an all time high because of the situations you put me through. I was not in a good place with my mental health and I blame a lot of that on you. You did not care how much your own daughter was suffering. I can forgive you in order to be at peace with myself, but I can not forget all of the emotional abuse you put me through.

I think the hardest part about you leaving was the fact that we were pretty close when I was growing up. It is not like you were never apart of my life. For 15 years, you were the person I called “Dad." You were the one to protect me when I was scared and you always made me feel safe. I confided in you and at one point, I think I was closer to you than I was to mom. To have all of that disappear in just a short amount of time really hurt. Watching how much pain you not only put us through is something that I will not forget. We didn't deserve it. Seeing that you were capable of being a father at one point and then leaving it all in the dust is something that I have a difficult time accepting.

It is sad to know that you will not be there for my college graduation. You will not be there to help me move into my first house or apartment. You will not watch me get married and walk me down the aisle. You will not get to know your future grandchildren. Although this probably hurts me more than it hurts you, I have people who will take this place for you and do all of these things in a heartbeat because they love me. I know that there will be loud cheers of my loved ones in the audience as I walk across the stage to get my diploma. I know I will have help moving into my first house. I will have somebody else who means the world to me walk me down the aisle. I will have so many people who will love and support my future children.

I was hurt and I still am hurt, but I know that everything will work out in the end. I want you to know that I pray for you often and hope that things are going well for you. Just because I am hurt from what you have done does not mean that I have spent every minute sulking in sadness. I have spent the past four years trying to move on from your mistakes. There have been times where everything has made me feel down in the dumps, but I have had so many great moments where I forget about everything you have done and just enjoy life.

I am thankful for all of the good that has been able to come out of this dreadful situation. I was able to grow into the person God made me to be and develop relationships with people that might not have been as strong if you did not leave. The circumstance is horrible, but there have been so many positive things that have come out of it. I hate you for leaving, but I also thank you for leaving.

I hope I cross your mind every once and awhile. I just want you to know that I am doing perfectly fine without you around. I have succeeded in more ways than you will ever know. Everything I do is to prove to you that I can do this without you. It has been four years without having my “dad” around so here is to the rest of my life with people who will love and support me.

Sincerely,

Your daughter that you decided wasn’t worth it