It's that time of year. College decisions fly around like gossip, and we see two kinds of articles appear on the Internet.
"Student Accepted to All Eight Ivy League Schools."
Or perhaps,
"What It Feels Like to be Rejected From Every College."
Two articles describing two people who presumably feel very different right now. One -- elated. The other -- disappointed, confused, angry, upset, afraid.
Yet I remember that one year ago, I did not feel like either of those people. I was the student who was accepted to a school that wasn't "good enough." I know there are many of us -- students who have worked hard and done well, if not exceptionally well, throughout our entire academic careers. The perfect transcripts, the high test scores, the school awards -- we’ve gotten them all. We are the students who achieved so much that we began to expect success. And when we got our college acceptances, we didn’t expect to find so many rejections mixed into our inboxes.
I address this to the student who has had their eyes set on an acceptance letter from Harvard, Stanford, and Yale ever since their first step into high school. Specifically, I address this to the student who has recently committed to an institution which falls outside the cabinet of household university names. The student who feels ashamed of their failure as well as their definition of failure. The student who, most likely, has fallen silent at this point.
Express excitement, and struggle with your ingenuity.
Express disappointment and risk watching your struggles pale in comparison to those whose every application was rejected.
And so, you say nothing. You blandly reply to the question "Where are you headed next year?" and hope that your lack of enthusiasm isn't stapled to your forehead.
You used to listen to others say "I could have gone to [insert generic Ivy League], but I chose not to because [X] school was better" and snidely think "They just didn't get into any Ivies." But now you cannot help but realize that you are in the same, cruel position, and that others must think the same of you.
Perhaps I should pause at this point to note that I do not aim to prescribe any assumption of excellence or lack thereof to the collegiate institutions which I mention. I've been attending Johns Hopkins University for a year now. This is not to say that Johns Hopkins is a poor school or an institution which is not worthy of praise. But coming from a school which is known for sending students to Harvard and Stanford every year, I knew that I would not be on any list of "notable college admissions," and hence, I was disappointed. I also do not mean to denigrate students who attend Ivy League schools, or disparage the admissions process.
I only wish to reflect upon what I have seen and experienced. I’ve seen peers go to great colleges, dismayed that they did not do “better.” And I’ve seen how this negativity has held them back, both academically and socially. Therefore, I would like to share my advice with you.
Be kind. Both to yourself, and to others. Perhaps you feel that you were not good enough or that you have failed. Perhaps you believe that you could be attending a more prestigious institution if you had not made so many mistakes. Perhaps you blame your peers or your parents or your teachers for holding you back or not pushing you hard enough.
Stop.
It is unfair, both for yourself and for the academic institution, to measure your self-worth using college acceptance letters and commitments. Acceptance rates are not measures of aptitude. Prestigious universities are not the ticket to happiness, wealth or success. Learn to define success for yourself, and you will find a way to achieve it.
Perhaps you will enter college thinking that you deserved better. Perhaps you will harbor resentment for the application process or your recommenders. Perhaps you will step onto campus and look around in disappointment at the proletariat college community which you are now part of.
Stop.
College is a time of opportunity. You will meet people from all backgrounds with different goals and aspirations. Be kind and listen. Learn from the people who look forward to every day they get to spend at their dream college. Find the people who applied to the same schools that you did, and committed to the same school that you did. But most importantly, spend time with the people who support you and believe in you. From my experience, I can tell you that they’re not very hard to find. All you have to do is look.
Before I came to college, my high school calculus teacher offered me some wise words which I have carried with me throughout my first year in college. When I showed disappointment in my many college rejections, he said, "Everything happens for a reason." I challenge you to find the reasons why your college is the right place for you. Discover the things that you love about your college, and push yourself to make the most out of your next four years.
With that, I wish you the best of luck in the coming fall. Congratulations to the Class of 2020!
