To The College Class I Have To Take Again

To The College Class I Have To Take Again

I don't wanna be here, but let's get this over with — and hope it's the last time we meet.
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To those of you who failed a class, dropped, or lost classes in a transfer, I understand your pain. Retaking a class is one of the worst parts of college. It feels like a waste of time, it puts you behind, and it's the worst sense of deja vu. But for most of us college students, it's inevitable. So here's to that class that we must, unfortunately, meet again.

Dear freshman Biology,

I can't say that I am excited to see you again. The first time I took you, I felt as if I was in high school again. Protons, neutrons, covalent bonds... I get it. You're the foundation for all of the other sciences I have to take in college. I can't say I understand why we have to take all these same classes that we had in high school all over again in college, AND have to pay for them, but I was okay with it the first time around.

But then I transferred. And there you were again, haunting me with periodic table memorization and other terms that at this point, I honestly don't see how they will be beneficial.

You see, I transferred across states, but some of my classes didn't come with me. Like you, freshman Biology.

I don't want to buy your $150 textbook AGAIN.

I don't want to sit in a huge class of freshmen, asking dumb questions, and acting like high school kids.

I don't want to study for you, or pretend like I'm interested in your material, or convince myself that you will actually be helpful in any of my other classes.

It's not even fair.

I am not even retaking you because of anything I did. I didn't fail you. I didn't skip your class due to Netflix all-nighters or hatred of 8 a.m.s. I studied for all of your tests and passed with flying colors. I did your extra credit, showed up for tutoring, and came to all of your classes. So it's not my fault that we must meet again.

This time around, my interest will be lacking, my patience with freshmen will be thin, and my motivation will be little to none.

But I will make it through.

That is what us college students do, we persevere. We get through those boring lectures, we make it through the never ending exams, and we finish with the best grade we can get because ultimately that is what we are here for.

On the bright side, I have had you once before, so this should only be a review.

So here's to this semester, freshman Bio, and here's to hopefully being our last time to meet.

Sincerely,

the student who has to take you again

Cover Image Credit: jirka_matousek / Flickr

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14 Fraternity Guy Gifts Ideas, Since He Already Has Enough Beer

Frat boys are a species of their own and here are some exciting gifts they will be ecstatic to receive!

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What more do frat boys love than alcohol, partying, and just acting stupid? Here are some gifts that help fulfill all of those needs for the frat boy in your life!

1. Beer holster belt

Whats better than one beer? Six beers! This fashionable camouflage accessory can be used for tailgates, beach days, formals and everything in between.

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2. Phone juul holder 

You know those cardholders everyone sticks on the back of their phones? Well, now a Juul holder for your phone is on the market! This will save your favorite frat boy from ever again losing his Juul!

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3. Animal house poster 

This Animal House poster is a classic staple for any frat boy. This poster will compliment any frat house decor or lack thereof.

Price: $1.95

4. The American Fraternity book

Does the frat boy in your life need a good read for Thanksgiving or winter break? Look no farther, this will certainly keep his attention and give him a history lesson on American fraternity heritage and tradition.

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5. Beer pong socks 

These snazzy socks featuring beer pong will be loved by any frat boy. As for the way to any frat boy's heart may, in fact, be beer pong.

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6. Condom case

This condom carrying case will not only protect condoms from damage but also make frat boys more inclined to practice safe sex, which is a win-win situation!

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7. Frat house candle

Ahhh yes, who does not like the smell of stale beer in a dark, musty frat house basement? Frat boys can make their apartment or bedroom back home smell like their favorite place with the help of this candle.

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8. "Frat" sticker

Frat boys always need to make sure everyone around them knows just how "fratty" they are. This versatile stick can go on a laptop, car, water bottle, or practically anywhere their little hearts desire.

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9. Natty Light t-shirt 

Even I will admit that this shirt is pretty cool. The frat boy in your life will wear this shirt at every possible moment, it is just that cool!

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Please note that prices are accurate and items in stock as of the time of publication. As an Amazon Associate, Odyssey may earn a portion of qualifying sales.

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An Open Letter To Professors Who Assign Group Work

In the classroom, there is NO strength in numbers.

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There is something to be said about the workings of a well-oiled machine. The swift cohesion of pieces working together to create a masterful finished product. Each individual part bringing its own unique gifts and interesting character together to create an impeccable arrangement of academic collaboration. It is absolutely awe-inspiring that professors dream of this sort of outcome from the random chunk of students that they forced together. So sorry to break it to you, professors, but the group project you assign in your class is not going to work like this. The final product will not be a meticulously crafted work of art. It is going to turn into a flaming disaster as your bitter students shamefully share the work they have thrown together.

Group projects are the bane of my, and most students', existence. You assign them in large lecture halls, small discussion courses, and every class in between. Most of the time you assemble the members of each group yourself, creating the saddest excuse for a team to ever grace the planet. This leaves the students no choice as to who they will be working with, which essentially makes the grade out of the individual's hand because they have no power over which random stranger will be tossed into their group. In the rare occasion that you do not assign the groups yourself, you leave the fear-stricken students to frantically gather their own clusters of people. This is just as bad because in this case students typically choose groups based on geographical location in the classroom, their seats that they chose on the first day of class and never got around to relocating.

Regardless of how they were gathered, every group project will introduce your students to a dynamic range of personalities. There is the one super intense leader that thinks this project grade is the single most important moment of their entire life, and if everyone does not commit their full selves to it they will actually burn the school to the ground. Conversely, there is the lazy, weak link; who is consistently dropping the ball on the group's shared research document and honestly none of the other group members even know what this person looks like because they skip class so ridiculously much. There is the one person who works every second of every day and can never fit your group meeting into their schedule because their nannying job is so important (this is actually a subtweet at me, my apologies to all of my past group members, I just have a really busy schedule, okay). Please, do not subject your students' grades to depend on the work of these insane classmates. A student's grade should reflect their own, individual work, group projects skew and make that impossible.

I understand that you mean well by assigning these projects. You hope to teach us how to work well with others, a valuable communicative asset in the real world. However, in the real world, there are standards for hiring at a company and if a worker does not perform well they will be fired. There are no standards for getting into my psychology class, any student with a laptop and a break in their schedule on Tuesday and Thursday mornings is welcome to join the class. There are no standards for performance either. If a student does not perform well in a group project their grade will plummet, which to my surprise does not greatly bother as many students as I thought, as does every other member of the group's grade. So unfair, so unparallel to the real world. Stop comparing your English 101 class to the real world.

Please professors, just stop with the group projects. I will happily write all of the papers, study all of the lectures, and even read all of the chapters in my textbook. Just don't make me create another Google Slides presentation with a bunch of strangers again.

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