To the Coach that Gave Up On Me
Start writing a post
Featured

To the Coach that Gave Up On Me

After dealing with mental illness issues my coach decided for me that soccer wasn't for me

5485
To the Coach that Gave Up On Me

My whole high school career I worked tirelessly on and off the soccer field to one day fulfill my dreams of playing Division 1 or Division 2. I finally received an offer from a Division 2 school. When I visited I immediately knew that this is where I wanted to spend the next four year of my life.

Fast forward, I'm attending my first pre-season as a college athlete coming back from a tough knee injury that had me sidelined for 10 months. The energy the team had made me feel like I had known them all my life, and I was so grateful that I had the opportunity to play with all these girls. I made some of the best-friends that I have ever had in a quick few weeks. The season starts and I'm not getting much playing time, but I was okay with that. I knew that I needed to work harder, I needed to do more to be able to compete at this level. Eventually I worked my way up to my first collegiate start, and man was I overwhelmed with joy. I called my mom to tell her and she was in tears when I got off the phone with her.

Fast forward again to the spring season. Things aren't as great as they were in the fall. I've been noticing that I just out of it. I figure its just all the early morning workouts and the long class days. A couple weeks go by and I see that I am in a complete slump. I dread doing anything, I have no ambition to go to class, I don't even want to play soccer at this point, the one thing that always kept me afloat. Thankfully, I met my now girlfriend and she pointed out that I just seem down. Not until then did I realized that I was presenting all the symptoms that I used to have when I was younger and was diagnosed with depression. I started to really pay attention to all my feelings. I was angry all the time, I would cry at random, I would sit in my room all alone while everyone else was out doing fun things that I would usually partake in. I wasn't the same happy bubbly girl that I always was. I thought the best thing I could do was to go back and see a therapist. I talked to on of the trainers at my school and she pointed me in the right direction. I quickly started seeing a therapist, talking to er about everything I was feeling. Things were a lot worse than I thought they were. I was having suicidal thoughts, I hated everything about myself, I didnt deserve love, I wanted to be around anyone. One night the thoughts got the best of me, and I saw no end in feeling like this. I just wanted to feel like myself again. I want to be an athlete again.

Report this Content
October Is Overrated, Let's Just Accept This Fact

I have never liked the month of October. I like the fall weather and the beginning of wearing sweaters in the crisp fall air, but I never associated this with the month of October.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Plight Of Being Bigger Than A D-Cup

"Big boobs are like puppies: they're fun to look at and play with, but once they're yours, you realize they're a lot of responsibility." - Katie Frankhart, Her Campus

4462
giphy.com

This probably sounds like the most self-absorbed, egotistical, and frankly downright irritating white-girl problem... but there's more to this I promise.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

An Open Letter To The Younger Muslim Generation

Fight back with dialogue and education.

4748

Dear Muslim Kids,

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Mystery Of The Gospel

Also entitled, "The Day I Stopped Believing In God"

6794

I had just walked across the street from the soccer field back to the school. I turned around and saw the cars rushing, passing each other, going fast over the crosswalk where I had been moments earlier. “It would be so easy to jump in front of one of them,” I thought, looking at the cars. “I could jump, and this life that I’m stuck in would be over.”

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

College as Told by The Lord of the Rings Memes

One does not simply pass this article.

9179
Zastavki

College as told by the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit memes. Everyone will be Tolkien about it.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments