To The Broken-Hearted Person Trying To Fill The Empty Void With Partying...
Relationships

To The Broken-Hearted Person Trying To Fill The Empty Void With Partying...

"You think starting over is having fun, getting drunk, partying until you can't remember how you're feeling, but that isn't starting over. It's only prolonging the inevitable."

718

I've had my heart broken and I can truthfully tell everyone, I resorted to a random guy and partying to help mend it. It's like putting a band-aid on an open wound. It'll temporarily stop the bleeding, but soon enough it'll get infected and you'll feel the pain even worse.
I think we want to believe that losing our self in someone else is a coping strategy to not having someone we saw ourselves with for the long run. Like an open wound with a band aid, it is a temporary fix, but I can assure you from past experience, it ultimately never helps. It just ends up making you feel more alone. You can drown yourself in the endless bottles of booze, but the next morning you'll still wake up feeling as empty as you did before you took the first sip, causing you to do it all over again.
You'll want to start over. You'll say you're creating a new life for yourself that doesn't involve feeling sorry for what happened to your broken heart or the different changes it brought to you. You think starting over is having fun, getting drunk, partying until you can't remember how you're feeling, but that isn't starting over. It's only prolonging the inevitable; he broke you..now accept it.
I didn't give myself a chance to heal. I let my mind wander far enough away from what it once believed that in the process it was lost so many different times I started to lose hope of ever finding it again. I thought alcohol would help me find it again, or maybe deep down I knew it wouldn't. I think I believed that the drinks, different guys, and staying out late to party would make me forget I had a mind to find and heart to repair. Ultimately-no matter how hard you try, you will still feel just as empty. It's important to know that.
I can always look at someone and tell if they've recently gotten out of a serious relationship. They're desperately looking for something to compare to the comfort of what their ex was, so naturally you'd expect them to look for it in someone else. You go to parties thinking you'd fill that void there, but all you end up doing is finding someone who never had intentions on filling you with comfort, but his idea of filling you in other ways.
They use you and you're okay with that. For just a short time you feel like there is a purpose for you, and you start to not feel as alone anymore. Until the night you finally decide to stay in-sober.. and you're laying awake at 2am wondering how you ever got to this point in your life, where the pain hurts worse than it ever has, and the one person you constantly turned to, isn't there. You start to face the scary reality that this has been your life for awhile now, but you tried distracting yourself with all the wrong things, and ended up even worse.
Rip the band aid off straight from the start. Stay in. Lay in bed. Look at pictures of the two of you. Read sad quotes. Listen to sad songs. Cry. Cry really hard, and then laugh at yourself for dry heaving over a guy who doesn't deserve your tears. Write him a letter you'll never send. Tell him how he has destroyed you and you're at the lowest point in your life. Dump all of the booze and turn off your notifications from
the invites to parties or the texts from the guy who is constantly using you. Give yourself one night to feel completely alone, and watch how the nights that follow aren't as bad.
There was a time I let my wound get infected. I knew it was there, and I understood how bad it was getting within each passing day. I just thought ignoring it would lessen the pain. Maybe I'd just feel completely numb after awhile, and it would all go away. The problem with any infected area, is it never gets better without being able to breathe. It doesn't heal without care. And it surely won't go away by ignoring it. I was too naive to believe my own heart, so maybe you won't make the same mistake as me.
Take care of yourself, and understand that you deserve more than to deny the pain in you. I think it's agreed by many that the sooner you accept what's happened to you, the quicker you can move on-not to another guy, but to actually loving yourself because you deserve to be freaking loved. You do not need someone else to do it for you, and you especially don't have to question if you deserve love after someone that meant everything to you decided he wasn't going to love you either.
I was this girl before. I told myself that I'd never find love because I wasn't worthy, and in so many ways I destroyed the image I once had for myself. It took me finally accepting the inevitable, learning to love myself all over again, then falling in love with someone else-to finally feel okay again.
I hope on your strongest days you remember your weakest ones. And on your weakest ones?
-A Little Bit Stronger by Sara Evans-- Play on repeat, I'm telling you.
-Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice cream- don't even look at the calories, seriously. If you don't know, it doesn't hurt you..
-The comfiest freaking bed in the house
-Netflix (I have probably watched 89% of everything on there and fell in love with it all so I can't recommend just one thing)
-and a hug.. from your mom, dad, sibling, dog or even yourself. You deserve some love.

Those helped me on my weakest days, and maybe they'd help you too.



And remember... It's going to be okay.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

For a long time, Goya has been a staple in some Latino households. People carry around jars of Adobo when they eat at friend's houses and packets of Sazón Goya can be found in almost everyone's pantry. Many BuzzFeed lists, videos, and memes aimed at Latinos reference Goya somewhere.

But in a year that just keeps hitting us with bad news, Goya Foods CEO Robert Unanue said that Trump was an "incredible builder" and that the US was "blessed" to have him as president at a White House event on Thursday.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Everything You Need To Know About COVID-19 Outcomes, Because It Has To End Eventually

You've heard a lot of possible outcomes thrown around, let's break them down.

If you log into any social media app, you will be overwhelmed with self-appointed experts, preaching the correct way to end this coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic from the comfort of their La-Z-Boy chair. Aside from those dramatic children on TikTok, it's all anyone can talk about. There's an obvious reason for this — the pandemic has taken our world and flopped it on its head, bringing confusion, angst, and an obnoxious amount of sourdough bread into our lives.

All this to say, it's easy to get lost amidst the storm of arguments online. Instead, it's best to break down what's actually going on so we can have an educated perspective as we look to work together to move past our current predicament.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Raven Baxter Was Our Favorite Teen Fashion Icon And We're Still Recreating Her Best Looks, Here

We take a look at Disney's most fashion-forward show to recreate some iconic looks.

Disney Plus

I grew up in the early 2000s. And, like any child at the time, I was hooked on Disney Channel shows. My favorite was and is "That's So Raven."

Raven is a teenage psychic navigating life in hopes of not revealing her powers. Only her family and close friends know she has them. Her powers oftentimes get her in trouble, which is where the comedy comes in. But, they also teach her and her friends sentimental life lessons.

Keep Reading... Show less

Sobriety is so underrated, even when it comes to healthcare. The instant gratification of a substance or drink isn't exactly as gratifying as some people may think. For those of you who've never been hungover, consider yourself lucky — a hangover is biologically horrifying. A hangover is not instant gratification, so who are we kidding when people say "it just feels good." Being healthy actually feels good and won't hurt you or your bank account in the morning. The best way to be healthy is to choose sobriety.

Keep Reading... Show less

Ah, yes. The juice cleanse. Yet another popular diet trend that promises to magically solve all of your health, nutrition, and weight issues.

When you take a close look, juice cleanses aren't as magical as they are made out to be, and in fact, they might do more harm than good.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Unauthorized Plastic Surgery Is Totally Unethical, And Happening WAY More Often Than We Know ‬

Plastic surgery for cosmetic enhancements has you looking more botched than beautiful and it’s painful to see.

Coming from someone who could afford numerous cosmetic enhancing procedures I would never in a million years cut up my face or my body. I'm pretty emphatic and when I watch these brainwashed victims with bandages and chronic inflammation (swollen lips) I literally feel their pain.

Keep Reading... Show less

I've never been big on casual wear or athleisure. Most people who know me have never seen me in sweats. But, I do have those two or three pairs of sweats I can't resist climbing into the second I get home, the newest addition of which is the extra cozy Odyssey crewneck sweatshirt I got in an XL size to feel as close to being wrapped in a blanket at all times as possible.

In the past several months, I've started to expand my horizons, considering the ways in which I can bring my small wardrobe of comfortable bedroom clothing into the public. I've experimented with topping leggings and a sports bra with a denim jacket to the park, and an oversized sweatshirt worn as a dress, cinched at the waist with a belt when I'm out wearing leggings.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

How To Dress Like Your Favorite 'Insecure' Characters — Without Spending $2,000

We take a look at the fashion of Insecure season 4, and how you can create these looks yourself.

HBO

Insecure is one of my favorite shows ever. It really encapsulates what it's like being a Black 20-something, trying to navigate the many ups and downs of life. Issa, Molly, Kelli, and Tiffany are living their best lives in California while dealing with the twists and turns that come with that.

From life to relationships to careers, this show truly captures everything that runs through my mind on a daily basis. The show has a sense of realness and a strong frankness that makes you gravitate toward the characters and root for their success.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments