To all the boys I've loved before,
Um… hi. You know who you are, and I think that a lot of other people do, too. That is, unless you are one of the celebrities I crushed (or am currently crushing) on, then you do not know who you are, and much less who I am.
I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for always giving me a reason to look forward to going to school, to a party, to anything, honestly. You made life a little bit more interesting, exciting, and nerve-wracking in the best way possible. You made me think "what if?" and "what will happen today?" and "why did I do that?" and "why do I like you?" and "do I love you?"
You also made my life
a little a lot more complicated. I swear I couldn't go anywhere without thinking about you, seeing you, hearing about you… and let me tell you, boy, is that annoying when you are trying to do the total opposite. In a way, it was comforting knowing that I wasn't the only one who would think about you. But in another way, it sucked because I wasn't the only one thinking about you.
Let me tell you something: being a hopeless romantic and a writer is possibly the best, yet worst, combination ever. I tend to feel things a little too much, which can be good, I guess, except when it is not reciprocated. And you know what the worst part of it is? I put my feelings into words that are not even close to describing how I feel. I would write poems upon poems trying to explain it all, knowing that I just couldn't. It doesn't work that way, and it never will. I spent endless hours, nights, and random class periods trying to create a poem that described it all. But I never could. That's why I started writing, to make sense of it all, or at least to try making sense of it all.
So thank you for helping me realize what I like to do best. For being great friends regardless of the never-ending teasing from what felt like the entire world. Thank you for hugging me and talking to me when I needed it the most. For making me laugh even when I thought I could no more. Thank you for letting me love you even when you didn't love me back quite the same way. Thank you for staying by my side regardless of how dumb and ridiculous I am. Thank you, because you helped me get one step closer to my happily-ever-after (hopeless romantic, see?).
With all of my love,