To quote a cheesy Nicholas Sparks movie,

"It's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me...every day." -The Notebook

Are you ready?

Because there is going to be a lot of information in a short amount of time. You will get overwhelmed, over stimulated, probably emotional and maybe even let down...but if you are true like you say you are at this very moment, you'll push through to the end.

I know I am difficult to love..."it's not gonna be easy"

Trust me. If you haven't figured this out by now you will very soon. I have built up so many walls around my heart, letting anyone in is difficult. I have reasons for why I have mile high boundaries guarding every memory and characteristic of my personality romantically.

I have been burned. Broken. Crushed.
Convinced I was worth nothing.
No time, no effort, no care in the world for me.

I have built myself up from relationship rock bottom..."it's going to be really hard; we are going to have to work at it."

I continue to teach myself that I am worth everything that the Lord sees me as (which is perfect if you didn't know) and I refuse to accept anything less than what I deserve. This makes me hesitant towards any guy who says he "wants me", "likes me" or even "loves me". I won't put myself out in the open to be hurt again. Chances are I will be hesitant at first, and that will be a challenge, but believe me I am worth it.

I don't like to think negatively when I start a new relationship, but its difficult when many of my past relationships have ended in lying, cheating or lack of respect for myself or my feelings.

I so badly want to be the hopeless romantic that pictures us driving off like Sandy and Danny in Grease, or being 'MerDer' and having that one perfect love in life, or being Lucas and Peyton and overcoming hell to be together in the end but how realistic can those types of relationships really be?

I am still scared out of my mind every time you walk through a door away from me that it might be the last time.

There's a part of me that fears I won't get caught if I fall for you.

Regardless, I will strive to love you always. Whether this is a blessing or a curse is still questionable. I am not perfect and there are many days I will fail, and so will you. Love is not unequal, and to be in a relationship we will both need to work for what we both deserve.

I am the person who wants to learn every little thing about you and this world..."but I want to do that"

I will ask you so many questions; sometimes they will be incredibly stupid but other times they will trigger deep conversations about the universe and its entirety.

I will probably fall asleep while watching movies if its not one of my top five favorite.
If it is one of my top five favorite, chances are you won't actually be listening to the movie. You will be listening to me quote the movie line by line.

You know, I notice the way that you look at me. I notice the long pauses you make in conversation to analyze the nonverbal communication going on through my facial expression and body language. I notice the seconds you hold me longer than expected, as if you're cherishing our hugs...like its the last one you will ever give me.

Be patient with me. Love me and I promise I will love you deeper. I will love you in ways you never knew possible.

I will never intentionally hurt you..."Because I want you. I want all of you forever, everyday. You and me...every day."

I won't make a decision without taking your feelings into consideration. I will be completely blunt with you, I am a straight shooter in a world full of liars.

I know being together means having faith in one another; involving multiple risks and immense vulnerability. Its letting your guard down and trusting someone. Its letting someone in on the past that hurt you.

I'll tell you about the scars that make up my past, and the wounds that were inflicted. I'll tell you about what went wrong and what went right.

I'll trust you enough with everything I have, knowing the after you hear what makes me, me you will love me even more.

I'll teach you to love your past, dance with your demons and accept you at your worst. I'll show you how to love yourself when you don't want to and how to care for others when they don't deserve it. I'll listen to your favorite songs, TV shows and movies just because you love them.

I am going to apologize a thousand times and I'm sorry for that right now. I'm going to talk too much because I'm going to want to tell you anything. Its okay to tell me to shut up every once in a while.

Throughout the rollercoasters of emotion, the good days and bad, the distance or time I can guarantee my love will never fade away. So, keep being you. Keep being a positive influence on my life, pushing me to achieve my dreams. You are a blessing, and you have been ever since you entered my life.

And who knows, maybe you'll be my McDreamy...my knight in shining whatever.