Why are you so stubborn? Why can’t you just accept the fact that there’s someone out there who cares about you? You’ll never fully understand the way I feel about you, and that’s a shame. It’s a shame for not only you, but me. It’s a shame because I put you on a pedestal to all my friends and all my family; I showed you off. I showed you to the world, all to get let down.
I’ve been let down many times in my life, but none that have crushed me the way that you did. What I must ask you is not only, do you understand how frustrating it is trying to avoid the thought of you, but do you fully comprehend how tough it is working you out of my life? I was never the kind of girl to allow myself to get pushed around, that is, until I met you.
It’s frustrating, it’s embarrassing, and most of all, it’s exhausting.
I used to look at you like you were the most amazing person in the world, and you could never do any harm to me, and man I was so wrong. Not only are you a monster, you’re a monster in disguise. You’re the worst kind of heartbreak to come across, based solely off the fact you do everything so well. I fell so fast for this huge hearted boy, someone who I could trust, someone who I imagined to keep me laughing until I couldn’t laugh anymore. I wish I could say something good about you without it hurting me. As it turns out, you are not an open book. There’s so many things the world doesn’t know about you, like how you get uncomfortable with PDA, or the love you have for pancakes. These are the things that I adored. It has become these “simplicities” about you that I crave.
I cannot fully grasp why I hold on to the thought of you in my mind. It is like I am going insane, for I sit here and I wander upon what could be, or what could have been between us. As much as I want to reach out to you and exclaim every little feeling of happiness or anger I’ve had towards you, I know better than to do so. Unlike you, I am aware that indignation helps nothing, but neither does walking away.
It’s almost as if you don’t care, and that’s what hurts the most. It’s like everything I want to say to you, I know you won’t even think twice about. I understand that I'll never be good enough for your sick little heart, but toying with my feelings isn't right.
At this point, there’s only one thing left to do, and that is to move on.
I still have an entire life to live, and so many people to meet. I refuse to sit here and wallow in sorrow over a relationship of such a young age. May the next girl be a little luckier.
