Dear (insert name here),

I guess the first thing that I want to say is hello. How have you been? We haven’t spoken in 3 years now, and it seems like we have a lot of catching up to do. Somehow, I have finally gained the courage to write to you and tell you how I really feel after all these years.

I wish I could say I don’t resent you and that I have forgiven you for the impact your time in my life had. But I haven’t. It’s been three years, and I still can’t bring myself to forgive you for everything you’ve done. But somehow I still think about you. I wonder what you’re doing, how your family is, what your life is like now… I also wonder if you ever still think of me. If you remember the happy times we had together, the times that we laughed over stupid things, even the time you let me borrow your sweatshirt to sleep in…

You were the dorky football player with bright blue eyes, and I was the outgoing sophomore who wanted nothing more than to feel wanted. You came into my life so unexpectedly, and it felt like such an act of fate. We had so much in common. We liked the same things, the same movies, TV shows, the same sports. We had the same feelings, the same things that pissed us off, the same things made us cry, even the same things made us laugh. I remember the time I borrowed your favorite football sweatshirt. I remember how big it was, and how I basically drowned in it. I remember sniffing for the scent of your cologne every 5 seconds, hoping the the scent of you would never go away. The feelings I had for you could only be described as those of a 7th grade crush because of how it felt so new and exciting.

But then your feelings wore off so suddenly. You started to only come around when you wanted to take whatever you needed from me, whether it be my support, my kindness, and eventually for your physical needs. You wanted every single piece of me. Every. Single. One. You didn’t care about my inexperience and you used me being naïve to get to me. You treated me so kindly only so you could come around and take from me, until eventually there was nothing left, leaving me to have to pick up these pieces on my own.

I remember the pain I felt and the hundreds of tears that wetted my cheeks every time I even thought of you. I was embarrassed to go to school, to the mall, to the gas station, and any place near town because I was afraid I would run into you. Because of you my parents didn’t trust me anymore, and even my friends that I had known since elementary school didn’t want to be my friend anymore. It felt like you took everything from me.

Everyday I looked in the mirror wondering who was this person I had become. Who was this person with sad tired eyes? Who was this girl that threw away some of the most important things in her life all because of a boy?

Somehow you had this spell over me. Even after everything you put me through. It was like this curse that made every single thing I saw related to you. I never thought in a million years I would get over you. I thought that for the rest of my life, I would lay in bed thinking about you and wondering when you would change your mind and make your heroic return.

But through soul searching and digging deep, I finally realized you wouldn’t.

As Hilary Duff would say, “Waiting you is like waiting for rain in this drought: useless and disappointing.” Luckily for her, her Austin Ames came around and luckily for me, you won’t. For an amount of time I thought you were my Austin Ames. I thought you were the guy who would eventually sweep me off my feet. But thankfully you aren’t. And because of this I grew into a much better person because of your absence and reckless mistakes. Because of you I learned that no one should ever determine my self worth. I learned that I am stronger than I think, that even through things like this I can still stand tall and proud of the person I am. I also learned that everything happens for a reason, and you were just a stepping stone in my life to becoming the person I truly want to become.

You led me to so many amazing friends, experiences, and most importantly lessons that have turned your negative impact into a positive one.

And for that, I thank you.

Sincerely,