To the boy who thought he broke my heart,
I still remember the first time I met you. You were chopping some lettuce, helping out in the house we were eating dinner at. I thought that was adorable, after all I was taught to always help around. Every time I go to that house I help serve the food and bring the dirty plates to the sink, and when I saw you doing something similar, I thought to myself that you were an extremely sweet and cute guy. Your face didn’t hurt either, and that moment I thought you were boyfriend material. I mean, a nice Jewish guy who is also good looking? #score
I wanted to get to know you, to get closer to you. We didn’t speak often but when we did I felt that I was getting to know you better. You told me a few things that I rather have not heard but I still wanted to talk more. Then you asked me on a date, and I was extremely excited. I even had three friends helping me pick the right outfit. You know? The kind of outfit that looks good, but it is trying to show that I didn’t try at all when in reality I tried an awful lot?
It was a good date, but it was not the kind of dates I would go on again. It was fun, we talked a lot (mainly about you because that is something you do really well) and then you walked me home. Such a gentleman! We saw each other one more time that week, and then you disappear. More like you started dating multiple girls in one week, and I realized that there was nothing between us.
After that, you avoided me a little bit. You would say hi to me, but you wouldn’t actually make the effort to carry on a conversation. You make it so awkward, so uncomfortable when for me it was something irrelevant. I did think you were nice looking. Okay, I thought you were really good looking, but my feelings for you were mere eye candy. Those are not even feelings. But I did feel used and a little offended; I was mad that you didn’t want me, I was mad how you treated me, and I was mad that I still wanted you to pay attention to me. Thankfully that feeling went away after a couple of days.
We have talked more lately, I guess because our situation was so long ago. We talked a couple of times and I even opened up about this guy. You felt that I was sad about us not working out, that I was talking about you. But how can I be upset after one date, one meaningless date, and when no real feelings involved? How can I be upset when the picture I had of you being the perfect boy was far from who you really are?
Whatever happened between us was meaningless, a one-time thing. I promise you that I didn’t eat an entire pint of ice cream while I watched a soppy chick flick so I can cry my eyeballs out and forget about you. I promise I didn’t burn pictures of you and I didn’t buy a voodoo doll that looks like you. I learned from you treating me badly, and I won’t let any other boy treat me like that. I would not let any other boy think he has my heart when he doesn't even deserve it.
Boy who thought he broke my heart -- we can still be friends. And I don’t mean it in a we-broke-up-lets-be-friends kind of lie boys tell girls when they end things; I really mean it. But please, do not think for a second that you broke my heart. You didn’t even get to have a piece of it.
Without love,
Orly
