To The Boy Who Made Me Feel

To the boy who made me feel.

I don’t know if I should thank you or punch you.

I don’t know if I want to give you any credit for actually teaching me something about life.

Actually, I know I don’t want to, but it is true, you did teach me something.

To the boy who made me feel bad.

Who do you think you are?

Making someone as amazing as me feel as bad as I did.

I hope karma bites you in the ass.

To the boy who made me feel like I wasn’t worth his time.

All that time we spent together, and yet, I still wasn’t enough.

I wouldn’t waste another second on you.

To the boy who made me feel beautiful.

Thank you, really.

I think it’s all too common for young women like myself to slip out of their self-confidence, so I thank you for that. But, I am so much more than just beautiful.

To the boy who made me feel like he wanted to date me.

Why did we waste all that time?

Why did it take you months to decide that I was worth a relationship?

Why did I feel worse and worse after that conversation?

These are questions that I once wanted answers to, but I no longer do.

To the boy who made me feel like all I am is a body.

I get it.

Physical stuff is fun.

But it isn’t all that matters when you’re dealing with another human being.

Especially a friend.

To the boy who made me feel like I was a good friend.

I saw right through this one.

I considered you a friend for a long time and yet you never actually treated me as a friend.

Friends tell each other what’s going on.

Friends make attempts to see each other.

Friends, sometimes, put each other first.

You did none of these things and yet I was still trying to see you.

To the boy who made me feel things.

Things. Ya know, things?

Like serious, emotional, wow-this-person-actually-gives-a-damn-about-me things.

I wish I didn’t.

I wish those feelings were never there and that I saved myself the disappointment.

You are disappointing.

You are not worth my time.

You hurt me.

To the boy who no longer makes me feel.

Thank you.

From the deepest crevice in my heart, thank you.

You have taught me the importance of self-love.

You have taught me that self-love is all I need.