We haven't talked in what seems like forever, and sometimes I do wonder if you miss me. Sometimes I'll see something you would like or think about one of our jokes and just for a moment, I'll wonder what it'd be like to tell you. And then I remember all the things you put me through, and that feeling goes away.
I remember when I found out you cheated on me. For the longest time, I couldn't and would not believe it. I didn't believe that someone who claimed to love me could do something so awful. You claimed you loved me, but you just don't do that to someone you love. You manipulated me. You manipulated every situation to make yourself look like the victim. And how well you did it, terrifies me. I just pray. I pray that whoever you find next doesn't fall to the same tricks I did. I pray that no one has to go through what you put me through.
You won't ever understand how much you hurt me or how the gravity of your actions affected me. You made me believe that I wasn't good enough. You made me believe that I wanted forever with you. I saw the best in you even when I shouldn't have, and you took advantage of that. The thing is, I don't hate you. At one point, you were my whole world and I loved you. You took a piece of me with you when you left and I won't ever get that piece back.
I may miss our friendship, but I don't miss you. I don't miss the manipulation, the lies, the disrespect, the fear, the cheating. I don't miss feeling as if I'm worth nothing. I'm sorry you didn't see my worth. I'm sorry you lost the girl who could have and would have done anything to make you happy.
Thank you. Thank you for teaching me that I deserve so much more than what you had to offer. In the midst of you treating me the way you did, I learned that I'm worth more and I deserve so much more. You taught me what love is not. You taught me that love does not manipulate, that it doesn't cause pain. Love does not lie. I may never understand why you did what you did or why you treated me the way you did, but I'm letting you go. You may have hurt me, but I refuse to let you defeat me. Thank you for showing your true colors. Thank you for making me realize that I am worth more. Thank you for showing me that I deserve bigger and better. Thank you for the lessons learned. Everything you did not only made me stronger but brought me closer to Christ. For that, thank you. I forgive you and finally, I can be at peace.
