To the boy I dated that thought he was a man,
I liked you. I truly liked you. I thought you were cute, sweet and understanding. I thought that there was a chance with you. I thought that maybe, just maybe, you wouldn't be like all the other boys and, if I'm being honest, you really weren't.
You talked to me like a person, you listened to me, you validated my concerns, you even bought me batman socks. Not many guys have done that, but batman socks or no, that doesn't mean you were ready for a relationship.
We started like many people do. We met at work, we talked a little bit, we started talking more and then finally we felt like we had gotten to know each other well enough to go on some dates. We went to some football games together and then around the third game we decided to start dating.
It was fun. I had someone who wanted to listen to me and you seemed a lot happier. How was I supposed to know that you could change as quickly as you did?
I finally saw your true colors at a dance when you couldn't stand that I wanted to talk to my friends. Look, bro. I don't blame you for what happened because it was partially my fault. I said I would go with you, we met at the dance and then I wanted to get to talk to my other friends too. I understand where you were coming from, but you should have understood me when I explained to you why I was talking to my friends.
Not once did you acknowledge that I never see them and that I should be able to talk to them--no. All you wanted was for me to only talk to you and stick with you that entire evening. I can't do that. I don't even wish I could. I love my friends and any guy who tells me I can't see them or talk to them is the wrong guy for me.
However, that wasn't the real issue that night. The real issue was that we had been dating for something around a month when this occurred and instead of handling this the way you should have, you just left without telling me. If we make plans to do something together, you darn well better tell me when you decide to change those plans.
I was confused, hurt and very unsure about whether I really wanted to continue dating you. I texted you asking where you were and you said you had gone home. I asked why and you said that you had gotten frustrated and left. Too frustrated to tell your girlfriend about it?
Do you understand that a relationship is not a game? It is serious business. Every decision was not up to you, it was up to us. You may have been the guy in the relationship, but that doesn't give you the power nor the authority to determine what I can or can't do.
After we ended, I wasn't broken up about it, but apparently, you were. You constantly (and when I say constantly I mean a good 2 years after) told people that I was the one who broke your heart, but if we're going to be real--I didn't. I did what I thought was right. I got out of a situation that I perceived as bad. I decided BEFORE we were in too deep, that I could not date you.
So when you talk to girls you take on dates now, please stop dropping my name. Please stop telling them about how I broke your heart after one month (even though it takes almost a year to actually fall in love). The infatuation stage lasts about 6-9 months. That is nowhere NEAR what we may have had. Please. Please don't insist that I am the cause of your suffering.
I have moved on and it is time that you grew up and did the same. When I hear a friend tell me how you told them I broke your heart, I hurt for you. I hurt because you actually believe that. I hurt because you keep blaming me when you should really be blaming yourself and striving to resolve your issues that are causing you to blame me. You weren't ready for a relationship, but I was.
I am not the girl who broke you, but you believe I am. No explanation could convince you otherwise. All I wish for you now is happiness. Find happiness and learn that you just weren't ready for a relationship when you were 18. Most people aren't, it's not something to be ashamed of or to blame other people for. It's just a part of life.
Here's to hoping that next time you enter into a real relationship, you have become a man and are no longer a boy.
the girl who grew into a woman because of you