For the past two years, I have been a very closed-up person. I am a huge social butterfly but when it comes down to letting people know how I truly feel, I shrivel up into a ball. I have devised what I believe is the correct way to live- I guess I would call them the laws of life, and I deem these truths to be self evident:
1. Relationships aren't real and they never work out.
2. Love isn't real, only lust.
3. Feelings aren't real- they are only temporary.
4. People are fake.
5. You can trust no one.
6 You must always be enough for yourself.
7. Don't ever let your guard down.
Perhaps I made these guide lines and lived by them to protect myself, or that's at least what others say. Recently I have been challenged to step outside of my little wall that I have built around myself, and it has been a beautiful, brutal, mess.
I never thought I would change my views on the previously listed facts, until he came along. It was almost too easy- I question how he did it every day. I only have been with him a few months, and yet it feels like I have known him my whole life. He didn't just take me down brick-by-brick, he took a bulldozer to my whole wall.
At first, it brought me to my knees and made me feel vulnerable and weak. Now, I'm not so sure.
I have always despised the "sappy couple". The ones that are literally up each others ass all day and hold hands when they go pee. I see them all around me, holding hands, close enough to breathe each others air.
He makes me okay with being sappy. He makes me want to bake cookies for him, hug him, and never let him go.
How did he do it? How could one human, out of all them, make me so bare? Maybe it's the fact that I can trust him....with any thing. Or maybe it's that he brings me food when I'm sick. It's almost a contradiction that I am sappy enough to write something about him. Or maybe, it's because he has shown me what a good man is, and what a good man does.
He inspires me to be a better person. He makes me laugh, even when I want to cry. He respects me, and he accepts me for my many flaws. After meeting him, I deem these truths to be self evident:
1. Relationships can happen, and they can work.
2. Love is a possible.
3. Don't be afraid to feel (Though I said feelings weren't real....boy do I like him).
4. Not everyone is two faced.
5. Not everyone wants to hurt you.
6. You can let people be there for you and help you without feeling weak.
7. There will be a person that will knock down your wall, let them.
He has made me realize that I can to believe in myself once again. He makes me feel like a powerful woman. He has made it so much easier to face each and every day. He has made my life's struggle, not so hard.
I am so thankful for him.
Thank you for staying when everyone else has left, and thank you for taking down my wall.
