To the Boy Down the Street:

You were a real jerk, you know that? But, do you want to know something else? I still loved you.

I remember it all like it just happened yesterday. It was freshman year and we were at a marching band competition. You were in drumline, I was in colorguard. Two rivals that ALWAYS dated. We had been neighbors since I could remember. We were sitting at the competition waiting for the other bands to finish performing to see if we made it to finals. It was pretty chilly that day and you had a heavy jacket and didn't need your sweatshirt and we had started flirting at the beginning of the day so you let me wear it.

I remember my parents bringing me a blanket and asking who's sweatshirt I was wearing.

"Just a friend's, you know the one down the street."

They didn't say anything else. We traded numbers as the night went on. When it was time from awards we found out we didn't make it to finals. On the bus ride home, we were texting the whole way back. I remember going to the haunted corn maze with a group of friends. I texted you the whole night when I was with them. I truly liked you a lot.

The first time we hung out was a week later on Halloween in my driveway. We just sat out there and talked, it was great. You were my first kiss and my first real boyfriend. You made me smile. You brought me this gorgeous necklace for Christmas. I was scared to be honest. I never told you the real reason why I broke up with you on New Year's Eve. It was because I was scared. I liked this other guy before, a lot and he broke my heart. So, I was too scared to get it broken again. So I ended it before you could break my heart like he did.

Months past, and you dated one of my best friends. I dated another guy who broke my heart. It was during band camp when him and I broke up. You and I still weren't on speaking terms. I would catch you looking at me every once in a while during band class and early morning, but we both had moved on. You liked a new girl in guard. I liked this country guy. It was homecoming when we went our separate ways, never really talked like friends. You found out that girl was just playing you. Then you decided you wanted to be with the guard captain, even though one of your close friends wanted to be with her, and he even went to homecoming with her. But she didn't like him right? So who cared, you'd go after her and break my friend's heart, like that was your plan all along. Well, after a while, she played you too.

So now you end up texting me, asking what to do because I'm one of her best friends. I told you to move on and that she's not worth it. We got talking like old friends, when Frozen got brought up. Oh that lovely movie, it was our movie. I remember my exact words to you, and sometimes I wonder why I even said those words to you. "Frozen, couch, cuddling?" You said yes. You stayed until midnight.

We had to be on the field ready to practice at 6. I still don't know how we were able to function on maybe four hours of sleep, but we did it. It was wonderful and I thought we'd actually last, but boy was I wrong. You left Friday night and I knew something was up when I didn't get a text Saturday morning. I texted you that morning, you were very short with me. You didn't talk to me at all during practice or on the bus. When we got to the college you got off the bus and didn't say anything. So I just stayed on the bus with the rest of the guard except the one who went to talk to you.

Later on she told me that you had feelings for another girl, who hated me and I didn't care for her. But then you told me it was because your parents didn't like me, and thought second chances didn't work. We fought and fought all day and night. You told me not to talk to you until tomorrow when you got done mowing. You finished mowing, we talked. You told me that you thought about it and wanted to try. We tried to work though it. We had wonderful times. And we had horrible times. We fought at least tow to three times a week. We had such an unhealthy relationship. We broke up at least two to three times a month. It was bad. But no matter how bad we fought or how bad we hurt the other we always ended up back together. Whether it was within a week, or two hours.

You lied a lot. I had a very hard time trusting you. You never trusted me. We never had the official title. You would text whoever you wanted but the second one of the guys who used to like me texted me you were right there to say what he said. I never read your messages to any of the girls you texted, but you read every message I sent to a guy. You never told me if your parents liked me or hated me. I never met your parents. You always told me they thought I wasn't worth it and that it was best if they never met me.

My dad hated you. My brother hated you. All my friends hated you. My mom didn't hate you, but you weren't her favorite. The only person who truly liked you was my cousin. He only liked you because he only heard your side and never believed my side. Well after four months of fights, lying and cheating. We finally ended. I mean, I still loved you, but I guess this was for the best.

So after two months, it was spring break. My cousin, one of your best friends, and his girlfriend were over. She was staying the night along with my best friend. Well, my cousin thought it was be funny to see if you would come over. And guess what? You did. So here we are just a group of close friends hanging out, watching a movie. When all of a sudden we end up laying down next to each other. At the end of the night we are cuddling. Within the next few days we end up back together. This time I thought it was different. We hungout more, actually went in public as a couple. Never had the title, but we went out with my cousin and his girlfriend. It was great.

Then, all of a sudden you "told" your parents. They said no I guess. So we ended. But within a few days we got back together. You have this girl who's one of your friends, who I don't like. I never say anything. Until prom.

It's prom day. My best friend is going to prom. You knew that. I asked you to go to Grand March with me. You told me you couldn't, but we could hangout afterwords. I was alright with that because I didn't think it was something you would want to go do. So I go to take pictures with my best friend. Suddenly, my mom tells me you are here. I looked up and saw you. With the girl I hated. When you noticed I saw you, you decide to text me "hey sorry my mom and her mom made me take her."

I'm angry and you know I am and that's all you had to say. So here I was thinking we would actually work. Boy, was I wrong. So I sit though Grand March trying my very hardest not to just break out in tears. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that I had this 5th grader who was making me laugh the whole time and she didn't even know I was upset. And the worst part was that you guys sat four rows straight above me. So after that was over I texted the girl. She told me she asked you for a ride to grand March on Friday. You lied to me. We argued the whole night. And we finally ended. You sat there and watched me cry my eyes out. And just said sorry and left. 


A few weeks went by, we tried to be friends. You said sorry and told me you didn't mean everything you put me though. I started to believe you. A few days went by and you told me you hated me and that you were stupid for saying sorry. I made sure everyone knew how much pain you put me though. I posted our text about you saying sorry and then saying you didn't mean it on Instagram and Twitter. By this time it's the middle of May, it's been about seven months since we started talking again. It was my birthday and you didn't text me to say happy birthday and that's when I knew we were done for good. I moved on. I was happy again. I truly was. You found out and decided you needed to ruin that for me. Only this time I knew it wouldn't work.

You texted me. Asked me for forgiveness. Told me you loved me. Did everything I wanted you to do six months ago. But it was too late. I finally was able to heal my heart enough to move on and be happy. You tried for a month. Then you got tired. You weren't winning. I wasn't giving in. So you then got a new girl. I was very happy for you. I hoped she made you happy. She will learn one day.

With hate,

The Girl Down The Street