To the Belle who saw me crying in Regina a few weeks ago:
Thank you. When you saw me sitting in the entryway of Regina waiting for the bus to come, you caught me on a bad day. It was one of those days when the perfect storm had hit and suddenly I just needed a good cry. Nothing particularly was hugely wrong. It was mostly just a combination of little anxieties that made me upset, frustrated, hurt, and scared.
One of the worst parts of sadness is that it can drive one to move inside oneself. Sadness tells you to move away from people, to be alone where it’s comfortable to wallow in the pain that your heart feels and that you sometimes can’t explain. In that moment when you saw me, I didn’t have the luxury of being alone. I had a bus to catch, a class to attend, and work to go to. The desire to flee and the embarrassment of not being able to compound my feelings of helplessness. Many people walked by me as they headed to their various destinations. Many understandably looked away from me, just as I looked away from them. Then you saw me and immediately walked up to me with open arms.
You smiled at me and energetically embraced me. You said, “I don’t know you, but I really hope your day gets better.” It was all I needed to hear. You didn’t know me, but it was your kindness that grounded me. You acknowledged my pain and in doing so you forced me to remember that if someone like you could see me, then my pain was real, my emotions were valid, and I was heard.
It wasn’t that your actions and words took away those small things that were making me upset, but you reminded me of the kindness of others. You had to have immense trust and a beautiful amount of faith to even approach me that day. I could have been crying for any number of reasons, and I could easily have been a person who would balk at the idea of hugging a stranger. You let go of how I might react to you, and selflessly moved to help me.
As I said, after you had smiled at me and left, I still had to face the things that I was sad about. It’s just suddenly I didn’t feel the pull to draw within in myself. The spell that the sadness had cast was broken, and you gave me the courage to face the day with a clear head, knowing that someone I didn’t know was hoping for me.
