I have been chewing on a quote from Henry Nouwen during the last week. He says, "It is difficult to recognize the meaning of Christ's saying "There is more happiness in giving that receiving" (Acts 20:35), because it is difficult to confess that perhaps the greatest service we can offer to each other is to receive and allow the other the happiness of giving."

Let me give you some context as to why this thought was presented to me.

Last Monday began something called "Intensive Week" for my fellow semester abroad students and I. During the first two and a half days, we were given lectures from a professor of sociology that revolved around walking with the poor. The organization with which we came to Nicaragua, Student's International, is a service-based organization that has set up sites in several communities in Masaya, Nicaragua that are headed by local men and women with the intention of building relationships with some of the poorest people in the area. In an effort to remember that as an organization their goal is to walk with the poor and not to do for the poor or do to the poor, those leaders came alongside we students the first two days to receive formal instruction about the sorts of things they do on a regular basis in their communities.

Part of our experience with SI is to go into these ministry sites with the leaders and walk along side them as they do their daily work. There are currently seven sites in various communities within the department of Masaya that tackle all sorts of problems. For example, in the appropriate technology site they help construct clean water filters and stoves, while on the other hand the women's social work site acts as a safe haven for women and young girls who have had sexual, emotional, and other types of abuse in the home.

With our intensive studies coming to an end a week ago, we now have our opportunity to really dig into these ministry sites, keeping in mind that the communities in which we work may not look like the communities we are used to in the United States. Houses are tin shacks with two, maybe three rooms separated by thin curtains. These people may live isolated from other wealthier communities because they lack the appropriate funds to live elsewhere. Education may not be valued because parents require the children's help selling goods or working on the farm.

And this is where Mr. Nouwen's quote really gets me thinking.

I come from a North American background. My culture is rather dominant in the world. I am, in regards to both money and opportunities, wealthier than most all of the people with whom I will be working. And what can I do to help the ministry site flourish while I am only here for 2 months more?

I could give. I could give my money, my time, myself. I could quote scripture for support and pray in Spanish to give hope. I could give my opinions, I could give my concerns.

But what if all I gave was my open mind and heart and waited to see what Christ did through these men, women, and children?

In the past, I have had the opportunity to work in similar situations with people of less material, educational, occupational, and physical "wealth" than me. I came with the intentions to serve, to give myself fully so that the lives of those who were suffering could be lightened. But surprisingly enough, I have found that Mr. Nouwen's quote is undeniably true.

It's so hard for me to accept the fact that perhaps I, the privileged white woman from the United States, can't actually give all that much in terms of actual change to these people. I am, after all, only here for three months and only working in my specialized site for two of those months.

But according to Mr. Nouwen, perhaps that is not such a terrible thing. Perhaps by laying down my pride, I can find joy in being served rather than being the server. Perhaps by recognizing that I am not the only one with gifts and talents to offer to others, I can discover the value of others.

It is going to be rather difficult and I am going to have to fight against every urge that tells me I am right and that I know what's best. And maybe sometimes those may be the cases. But I continually pray to God that He transforms my heart so that ultimately, whatever happens and whoever is serving and being served, He receives all the glory.

1 Peter 4:10-11 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.