Happy Holidays, Families!

This is a really important time of year for everyone. You’re reuniting with the people you love for the holidays to celebrate and be together. You’re catching up and getting to know the other people in your life a little bit better. For the graduates in your life, this is a big time of year for them as well. If you have a college grad, it’s possible that they have recently walked to formally receive their degree. For high school and other college seniors, once the New Year starts, the time will be ticking down for them as they enter their graduation year. As families, it’s exciting to know what your graduate will do next and want to ask about their plans and their hopes.

As a recent graduate myself, here’s my advice: hold off for a little while. Let your graduate come to you.

I’m one of those graduates who walked across that stage with a plan A, B, and C, but very few concrete next steps. For me, this is a horrible feeling. I like knowing exactly what is coming next, which is why school, and the structure that comes with it, has been a great comfort to me. While on winter break, I knew what classes I would be taking next semester and I would know exactly when those classes would start. Now… I don’t have that. So for me, it’s a source of embarrassment to not have those answers for people who ask me. I want to give you an answer about what’s coming next for me if you’re curious, but I hate telling you what “the current plan” is when it might not pan out for one reason or another or when it might take a long time to take shape.

My life could go in many different directions now. My current plan is to start substitute teaching with the goal of taking a full-time teaching post as I see positions open up. But life can work in funny ways. My other passion is writing, so maybe I’ll write a book or I’ll find work at a newspaper or publishing house… Maybe I’ll decide to go back to school someday. I want to make the choice that’s right for me, not what I think my family wants to hear. Right now, as I am working to find answers, that is the pressure. I want my family to be proud of the things that I set out to do. But sometimes their idea of what I need to do to be successful is different from what my idea of success is. For me, it’s difficult to reconcile the two schools of thought.

It’s okay and good to support your graduate and to want to know what comes next for them. But sometimes, “what comes next” isn’t the easiest path to find. Mistakes will be made, there will be missteps and false starts… just know that if we need you for guidance or as a listening ear, you will be the first people we come to. We love you and have so appreciated your support thus far, so now it’s time for us to test the waters and realize the full potential of what life can bring us.

Love,