A Letter To Myself 10 Years Ago

A Letter To Myself 10 Years Ago

Life at seven years old is serendipitous; try not to let that feeling go too fast.
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Dear Lucy (age 7),

You are young and bright and entering second grade at a brand new school. It's scary now I know, but I promise you will make some of the best friends you'll ever have, and you'll meet people that you will cross paths with again later in your life. Switching schools is nerve-wracking and uncomfortable, but it's best to get used to it now because it's going to happen again in a few years. But right now, you are entering this new school with a positive mindset and the drive and passion for doing great things. Keep doing those great things.

The admiration you have for learning new things and meeting new people is your greatest strength, so never lose sight of your desire to learn. Right now, it feels easy to make friends, and you do make a lot of friends. When you grow older, don't let the fear of what others think of you hinder this ability that you have already mastered as a 7-year-old. I guarantee that you will want to change things about yourself and about your environment in order to fit in, but remain true to who you are, and only then will you find your real friends.

You are already very confident and certain of who you are, and you are so carefree; don't allow anyone to dull your confidence or invade your happiness because, believe me, people will try, but do not under any circumstances allow them to succeed.

Your hair is straight now, but in a few years, it will become very very curly. Embrace it; don't straighten it, braid it, or brush it like I have done too many times - it is one of the biggest things that makes you who you are, and you'll soon find a love for your unruly, messy ringlets. Also, keep wearing different colored socks. You've been doing it since you could put socks on without help, so why stop now? These little quirks make you who you are - don't hide them away, accept them and show them off to the world.

I know you hate your brother right now, and that hatred will go on for a long time. The hair pulling and the screaming matches will continue, but don't tell him you wish you had a sister (and mean it). He has feelings too and he's sometimes going to be the only person you have. Don't take for granted the time you have with him now because soon he'll be gone away at college and you'll miss him more than you ever thought you could.

You just got a dog! Love her with all you have, give her long walks, treat her to meat when she's being good, and don't forget about all that she does for you. Though she's just an animal, you will grow very attached very quickly and she deserves the best love and treatment that you could give her. Make sure to spend all the time you can get with her because she isn't going to be around for as long as you wish she could be. Love your dog, always.

But most importantly, love yourself. As you mature and school gets harder, you will find that it's much harder to focus, to work in class, to do homework, and to function like you used to. You will encounter mean people everywhere you go and you will always take mean things to heart (you're very sensitive and, well, you still are). Don't let any one person bring down your positive outlook on life and don't allow negative, cocky people make you feel as though you are below them. Don't buy clothes just because everyone else has them, don't listen to music just because everyone else likes that song, and don't become someone who you aren't to prove that you're like everyone else. You won't always fit in everywhere, but that's okay. Don't let not fitting in affect how you view yourself. You are someone very special, and don't let anyone else take that away from you.

Remain happy, humble, and kind amongst any circumstance, and you will find that the bright future you have ahead of you will be rewarding and extremely worth it.

Sincerely,

Lucy (age 17).

Cover Image Credit: http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1931502/images/o-WOMAN-WRITING-LETTER-facebook.jpg

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A Letter To My Humans On Our Last Day Together

We never thought this day would come.
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I didn't sleep much last night after I saw your tears. I would have gotten up to snuggle you, but I am just too weak. We both know my time with you is coming close to its end, and I just can't believe it how fast it has happened.

I remember the first time I saw you like it was yesterday.

You guys were squealing and jumping all around, because you were going home with a new dog. Dad, I can still feel your strong hands lifting me from the crate where the rest of my puppy brothers and sisters were snuggled around my warm, comforting puppy Momma. You held me up so that my chunky belly and floppy wrinkles squished my face together, and looked me right in the eyes, grinning, “She's the one."

I was so nervous on the way to my new home, I really didn't know what to expect.

But now, 12 years later as I sit in the sun on the front porch, trying to keep my wise, old eyes open, I am so grateful for you. We have been through it all together.

Twelve “First Days of School." Losing your first teeth. Watching Mom hang great tests on the refrigerator. Letting you guys use my fur as a tissue for your tears. Sneaking Halloween candy from your pillowcases.

Keeping quiet while Santa put your gifts under the tree each year. Never telling Mom and Dad when everyone started sneaking around. Being at the door to greet you no matter how long you were gone. Getting to be in senior pictures. Waking you up with big, sloppy kisses despite the sun not even being up.

Always going to the basement first, to make sure there wasn't anything scary. Catching your first fish. First dates. Every birthday. Prom pictures. Happily watching dad as he taught the boys how to throw every kind of ball. Chasing the sticks you threw, even though it got harder over the years.

Cuddling every time any of you weren't feeling well. Running in the sprinkler all summer long. Claiming the title “Shotgun Rider" when you guys finally learned how to drive. Watching you cry in mom and dads arms before your graduation. Feeling lost every time you went on vacation without me.

Witnessing the awkward years that you magically all overcame. Hearing my siblings learn to read. Comforting you when you lost grandma and grandpa. Listening to your phone conversations. Celebrating new jobs. Licking your scraped knees when you would fall.

Hearing your shower singing. Sidewalk chalk and bubbles in the sun. New pets. Family reunions. Sleepovers. Watching you wave goodbye to me as the jam-packed car sped up the driveway to drop you off at college. So many memories in what feels like so little time.

When the time comes today, we will all be crying. We won't want to say goodbye. My eyes might look glossy, but just know that I feel your love and I see you hugging each other. I love that, I love when we are all together.

I want you to remember the times we shared, every milestone that I got to be a part of.

I won't be waiting for you at the door anymore and my fur will slowly stop covering your clothes. It will be different, and the house will feel empty. But I will be there in spirit.

No matter how bad of a game you played, how terrible your work day was, how ugly your outfit is, how bad you smell, how much money you have, I could go on; I will always love you just the way you are. You cared for me and I cared for you. We are companions, partners in crime.

To you, I was simply a part of your life, but to me, you were my entire life.

Thank you for letting me grow up with you.

Love always,

Your family dog

Cover Image Credit: Kaitlin Murray

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Your Feelings Are Not Invalid, It's OK To Not Be OK

I know that life can get really hard, but I promise it'll be okay.

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Recently, I have had an extremely hard time with my level of happiness that I have in my life. I go through my days feeling overly exhausted by the drama and hardship around me. I have gone through the past few weeks really struggling with this stint of depression and anxiety that I have been fighting with through the course of my life. These past few weeks, I have had large issues with this feeling of not being good enough and feeling like the world around me is falling apart because of stress and drama and self-image issues happening around me. I was at a point where I found myself not being able to have a positive thought in my mind and it was feeling like the whole world was against me.

I hate feeling like this. I feel like my world is crashing down and I truly just want to feel better. I have come to the conclusion in my life that the world I find myself living in makes us feel like if you feel depressed or upset, you have an issue and you are not alright. Numerous times I have been told that I need to get over it or that my issues are just "first world issues" that do not matter. This has shown me that there is communication in our world that is not being discussed. Depression has become this thing that society looks at so commonly and we have become accustomed to the idea of people around us being depressed that it makes us numb to it. This has made people think of depression as something not as horrible as it truly is because "everyone" has it. Depression is something that is extremely detrimental to the person being affected by it.

My journey with depression and anxiety started at a young age. I would have anxiety attacks at random times because of untold issues that I was having with my father or issues with bullying. From that young age, I learned very quickly to put up an act when I was around people because I didn't want them to tell me that I needed to get over it or tell me that it was not an actual issue and I was just being dramatic. I kept my mouth shut and pretended that this black mass wasn't engulfing me into is and pulling me deeper and deeper into this whole that was full of self-deprecating thoughts and images. People in school with me and that went dancing with me couldn't tell at all. They thought that I was this nice, happy little girl and honestly, I couldn't be mean to anyone else because all of my efforts were being put into being mean to myself. But, as I said, I couldn't express this to anyone because I felt like this issue I was having was one that I shouldn't be having and that there was something wrong with me for feeling this way.

Here's the thing: it has taken me so long to realize it, but I have come to understand that it is okay not to be okay.

Going through my life with this overall and underlying sadness and self-image trouble does prevent me from doing some things, but it does not mean that I need to stop doing what I am. I do have this issue but it is alright for me to talk about it and there is nothing wrong with me for feeling the way I do because at this point in my life and in history, there are a lot of things I have to deal with that are not the greatest mentally. Understanding the issue and talking about it is the only way to improve my metal standing, however, and I feel like this right to talk about it should not feel like it is too taboo to actually have conversations about. The world around us though needs to listen and stop blowing off these issues like they are not important. I have experienced many times this idea of someone telling me that I complain too much after I talk to them about the struggles I have in my life and I am sick and tired of feeling as though my problems do not matter. Big or small, people react to hardships differently and this needs to be something that the world understands and listens to.

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