Hello, precious one.

I’ve been carrying you for months now. I’m not sure if you’re aware but soon you’re going to leave my belly and make your entrance into this big, bright world. It’s kind of scary for me to imagine being separated from you, but the doctors say you’re strong and ready to be on your own.

Before I hold you in my arms, I want to express how much I’ve loved being connected to you.

I remember when I first found out I was pregnant. To be honest, your daddy knew you were coming before I did. I had been feeling off and thought maybe I was sick; he quickly suspected otherwise and got me a test. I probably shouldn’t tell you this until you’re grown but it turns out your mama is not always right.

I was so stubborn that I didn’t even take the test until a few days later. I was alone one morning getting ready for church while your dad was already there rehearsing with the band. I still wasn’t feeling well and contemplated skipping. For whatever reason, that was the moment I felt prompted to see if we were pregnant.

Pregnancy tests are kind of gross so I’ll skip the details, but there are these lines that show up to tell you whether or not you’re having a baby. They’re supposed to take a few minutes to appear. Yours did not. I set the test down on the counter thinking I’d brush my teeth and check it afterwards when I noticed there were already two thick blue lines letting me know you existed.

That’s how most things have been with you. Immediate, just like my love for you.

I quickly got ready and rushed to tell your father the good news. I got there early, which must have been a red flag that something was up because your mama tends to be fashionably late.

Luckily your daddy was sitting alone when I found him. I may have said a quick hello before blurting out that we were going to have a baby. You should have seen his face. His eyes lit up and immediately filled with tears (your father often cries when he’s crazy happy).

It was a beautiful moment. We were overwhelmed with joy. That’s what you’ve done so many times before you’re even born. You’ve brought joy.

We slowly began telling family and friends. Every single person was beyond thrilled to hear about you.

More than once your dad would call me saying he accidentally told someone else about you whom we were planning on telling together because he just couldn’t contain his excitement. I tried to be mad about it but truthfully I understood. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops!

It was such a happy time.

However, as you grew within me the world continued turning. You’ll find that even in the happiest of moments, life delivers surprises and challenges.

We lost some people while you were growing. They wanted to meet you and loved you very much. You’ll see pictures and hear stories and I hope that pieces of them resonate with you.

Also, your mommy got very sick. For months I had trouble eating and wasn’t able to keep much food or water in my belly. I lost weight, became weak, and eventually I had to go to the hospital so they could get me better.

There were moments of tears that I couldn’t hold back. I didn’t want you to hear them, but for these months we have been inseparable. You’ve heard what I hear. I’m sure you’ve felt much of what I’ve felt.

I’m sorry it hasn’t been perfect, sweetie, but you’ll find that nothing is. And that’s okay.

This is the world you’ll soon be ushered into. There are hardships and pain and (I’m sure you’ve already experienced) a lot of boredom. But there’s also love and laughter and so, so much joy.

I’m not sure what to expect after pregnancy. I’m anxious to meet you. I want to see your features and witness your temperament. I’m curious to watch your develop and see the person you’ll grow into.

I suspect each stage will fill me with wonder, just like your first kick. Your daddy and I were just lying in bed. He was talking to you and gently rubbing my tummy when you let out your very first impact, and man was it powerful. You were only four and a half months along, but you kicked like a superhero. It was incredible. You are incredible.

I know we still have so much to learn about each other, but I want you to know that I love you obscene amounts. You’re about to enter a world of constant change, but you can know with certainty that my love for you will always be there.

Always, always, always.