Stacia, when I heard that you had passed away I didn’t feel like I had the right to cry. Even though I lived in the sorority house with you for three months, I don’t feel like I got to know you as well as I should have. All I really know about you are the little things.

I know that you were a nursing major and that you wanted to work with people who had Type 1 Diabetes like you. I know that you liked to take naps on the living room couch once you were done with class. I know that you used to stay up past midnight either studying or crafting at the dining room table. I know that you watched Netflix whenever you had the chance. I remember that you switched which dress you were going to wear to formal three times before you decided on one. I remember the week that you were sick and you basically lived on the couch. I remember the glasses you wore every day and how jealous I was that you could wake up every morning looking perfect.

I remember that the last time I saw you was when I was moving out of the sorority house. You were moving out the same day as me and we both turned in our keys at the same time. I was ready for the year to be over, so I said a quick good-bye to you and Natalie and gave both of you hug before I left. In my head, I figured there was no need to get sentimental because I would see both of you in a couple months.

It wasn’t until I found out that you were gone that I realized how much every one of my sisters means to me. These past few months, I have been so caught up in my own life that I forgot what sisterhood is really about. It isn’t about the cute pictures or the matching outfits or formal or what fraternities we hang out with or what position we get or all of the other meaningless things that we make it about.

Being a part of Alpha Xi Delta is about every sister whose life you get to touch and the little moments that you share with each of them. It’s about the women that will be there for you when you need someone, no matter what. It’s about the good luck coffee your sister gives you before your big test and the sisters who will come to the gym with you for moral support. It’s about the weekly meeting of sisters who faithfully watch ‘The Bachelor’ and the sisters that will never let you go to Taco Bell alone. It’s about the sister who will run to the library to give you their print credit when you have a paper due in ten minutes and the sister who will hold your hand when you are crying about the class you failed. It’s about the sisters who will encourage you and have faith in you, even when you have lost faith in yourself.

Sisterhood is about always having someone there, for the big moments in your life and the little moments that you might someday forget.

To my beautiful sisters, I know that things will be different when we come back in the fall. Our hugs will be a little tighter and our hearts will be a lot heavier. However, for as much pain as losing Stacia has caused to all those who loved her and as hard as it will be to never see her smiling face again, I know that I will never again take for granted what this sorority has given me. It has given me every single one of you. It has given me every laugh, every smile, every hug, and every memory. It has given me women that I will have in my life long after college is over. It has given me a love in my heart that I didn’t know I needed.

Whatever you are doing up in heaven now Stacia, I hope you feel how much you are missed. I hope you know that I will never forget the little moments that I had with you and neither will anyone else. You were passionate, funny, and unapologetic about who you were. You were what every sister aspires to be. You are so loved Stacia.