Sometimes, even with being away at college, I know you are lost.

Sometimes, I know you are hurting.

Sometimes, I know you are scared.

And that is okay. It is okay to be lost and scared and hurting all at once, because I will always catch you when you fall. There aren’t enough miles in the world that could ever stop me from catching you when you are falling. I will always be here for you. I will be here for you when you decide to ask a boy out with a box of doughnuts. Or when you are trying to figure out what you want to study after high school. When you are fighting the daily battle of geometry, I will be here. Whatever you need, I am here.

I remember when we were younger and you were the apple to my eye. I would’ve done anything for your chubby self. I changed your diapers and helped mom feed you. I protected you from all the cheek pinchers, but most of all, I loved you.

That love has never died.

Yes, we fight. Yes, we disagree. Yes, sometimes, I could rip your head off because you annoy me to death. But I have always loved you.
Do you remember when you discovered make-up? Even though you made fun of my goth phase every day, I would fix it before you went out in public, so you wouldn’t embarrass yourself. I would calm those wild curls and show you how to bobby-pin them down. I never did understand your clothing choices, but you didn’t understand mine, so we kind of left that alone. We looked ridiculous in middle school when we stood next to each other. Me in all black and you and a rainbow had a fight, we weren’t sure who won. You were social and funny and plain weird, and then there was anti-social goth-girl me. But I wouldn’t have wanted to stand next to anyone else.

The regular trips to the doctor have always been fun, but they were more fun when I could drive us, no mom. We would humor every nurse and doctor to the point that I am sure they had to send a warning signal out “THEY ARE HERE. I REPEAT, THEY HAVE ENTERED THE BUILDING.” There is no one like us, Lou. We are one of a kind.

Now you are in high school and I am away at college; we can never find the time to talk for more than five minutes, and we rarely see each other, but I am still here. I am still listening to you. I am still your sister, for better or worse, through thick and thin. You are my baby sister and I will never let anything bad happen to you. I will defend you, fight beside you, and wipe your tears as much as you need. I will annoy you when you need a laugh and hug you when you need to be held. There is no one in the world that can replace you. You are beautiful. You are funny. You are spontaneous. You are strong. You are more beautiful than the stars in the sky--brilliant. Sometimes I know it doesn’t feel like it, but I promise you, you are.

I will remind you as often as you need, because I am still here. We are far away from each other, but you are still my little sister and I am still your big sister. I will protect you with my last breath if I have to, and I will never stop loving you, no matter how far away I am. So don’t miss me, because I am right beside you. Don’t be scared, because I am fighting away your demons. Don’t worry about being lost, because I will always find you.

I love you.