Many younger siblings hark on their older siblings, mainly because we think we have to. We call them out on their mistakes, or times that they fall down, or times that they broke the rules when younger. How often, though, do we thank them: Thank them for being them, thank them for their protection, or comfort, and mainly thank them for making us who we are today as people? Some of us have lost our older siblings and never really got a chance to tell them how we truly feel about them, so here's that chance.

Dear my older sibling (brother) in heaven,

First of all I just want to thank you. Thank you for helping me to become the person that I am today, for protecting me as we were growing up, for making me laugh when I was sad, and for all of the times it was me and you against the world.

For 19 years I had you by my side. In those 19 years you made me laugh, you made me cry, you made me want to hit you, and you made me want to hug you. We were all each other had for a long time and we were a good team. You would buy our parents Christmas or birthday presents and I would wrap them and make a card, you would tell me not to tell mom you went to the gas station across the street and buy me an icee for the secret, you gave me the nickname Chef-Boy-R-Nat because you couldn't possibly make Ramen Noodles as well as me, and you were the one who drove me home after school and listened to the pointless high school girl drama of the sophomore class.

They were a great 19 years. I have so many memories with you I really don't remember the memory until I remember it. It's been five years now since I've lost you. Five years since you've made me laugh, five years since I heard your voice, and five years since I've been able to give you a hug. I find it odd that I can remember all of these different moments after five years, but after so long, I'm starting to forget what your voice sounded like or how your laugh sounded.

Five years isn't long with someone it seems like, but without someone it feels like an eternity. Especially the one person who is supposed to be by your side your whole life: your sibling. Everyday I wake up and it still doesn't feel like you aren't here with on us Earth anymore. I feel like one day your just going to walk through the front door and just yell out "Hey guys, I'm home!"

Since I know that won't happen, I'd like to tell you thank you for everything you did for me while on Earth and in Heaven.

While on Earth: Thank you for protecting me when we were younger, I was small and you were my big brother and everyone in the neighborhood knew not to mess with me. Thank you for allowing me to be on your team for any backyard football, baseball, or basketball game. Thank you for answering anytime I called or text you because I was sad or scared about something. Thank you for getting me to jump off of that cliff for the first time at Laurel Lake. Thank you for making me belly laugh all of the time. Thank you for driving me to and from school your senior year and not thinking you were too cool for your little sister. Thank you for making your friends tell me happy birthday on my birthday in the school parking lot. Thank you for listening to me complain about boys. Thank you for being so excited about my future.

In Heaven: Thank you for showing me that life moves on and it's OK. Thank you for teaching me resilience and grace in a very difficult situation. Thank you for showing me that there are still amazing people in this world. Thank you for guiding me in following my dreams. Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for having amazing friends that still check on mom, dad, and me. Thank you for showing me that life is short so have fun and live the life you want to live and not to be scared of everything.

Five years is a long time without a best friend, and a best friend is what you were to me. Thank you for that. I will cherish the 19 years we had together, and I will hold those memories so close to my heart. Though I may forget your laugh and the sound of your voice, I will never forget our memories. Most importantly I will never forget what you taught me while here with me on Earth, and now that you're gone. I love you big brother, until we meet again!

With all of my love,

Your baby sister, A.K.A Chef-Boy-R-Nat