To My Old Best Friend Since I Never Truly Got Closure

This is a topic I think about a lot. It’s something that I’ve wanted to write about for a long time, and I have, but only to myself. If you happen to read this, then so be it.

I want to thank you for being a person that I could trust with anything. I had never truly experienced that. You listened to every word. You made me feel better about myself. You taught me that no matter what was going on, there was always something to be positive about. I will never forget that.

You picked me up when I was at a low point. You spent so much time just sitting and talking with me. Our friendship was beautiful. You were there for me through any and everything. You even took me to my favorite restaurant when I was having a really bad day.

While these all seem like positives, there were definitely moments that were not. So thank you, for teaching me to be a stronger person, for teaching me to not trust everyone I meet, and to realize to follow my instincts.

See the thing is, when our friendship ended, I was broken. It literally crushed my world. I didn’t understand how somebody who was such a big part of my life could just be gone like that. The words, “I just need a break from you,” will forever haunt me. But I just want you to know that no matter how hard that was, how difficult it was to get over you, I did it.

I’m doing better in life than I have in a long time. Nobody will ever replace you, and I will forever think about what happened between us, but I’m tired of you being in my head. I’m tired of thinking if you ever think of me, I’m tired of seeing things that remind me of you, I’m tired of hearing songs that make me think of you. I’m tired of you. I’ve realized that the thought of our friendship and you was more valuable to me than the friendship itself. Because as perfect as it looked, it was so flawed.

I loved you to death, so much that I would have done anything for you, but I’ve learned that that feeling was probably not mutual. I was never hesitant to answer your texts or calls, and I would always do anything I could to please you. But I know now that I had no reason for that. So thank you, thank you for all the life lessons you taught me, but I’m tired of blaming myself for our friendship ending. So this is my closure. I know we will never be friends again, and now, I’m okay with that.

I am surrounded by some of the most amazing people who I can be myself around, who love me for me, who will truly do anything for me. I can say that with confidence. I am thriving in college. Part of me hopes you are doing the same, but part of me knows that I should not care. I’ve made amends with who I need to, and you aren’t on the list. Thanks for caring part of the time, I’m glad to know what it feels like now to have people who care about me fully.

I don’t want to bash you, but you changed my life so much. I didn’t realize that I could trust people anymore, especially since you know how much it took for me to trust you. You told me our friendship would never end no matter what, and in the back of my head, I knew that one day something would happen and it would be over. But that doesn’t matter anymore. It’s time to let you go. It’s time to stop comparing others to you.

It hurts me to say that you were toxic to me, but you were. Thank you for being a part of shaping who I am today, because I am stronger. I know I’m beautiful and I know that I am worth so much more than I thought imaginable. You may have struck me down, but you didn’t end me. This is my official goodbye since I never got to do that in person. You are no longer a part of me I am finally letting go.