To my friends I left when I transferred colleges,
I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't see this happening at all. I miss you guys more than you think. I miss our late-night talks about what we hope the future holds, the parties where we laughed too much, our study sessions that usually ended with a trip to CookOut to get milkshakes that made us happier than they should have. I know how mad you were when I told you I was transferring. I could see the disappointment in your eyes. But I just want you to know I was disappointed, too.
I was disappointed that the college that filled me with exhilaration and nerves on that very first day no longer felt like home. When I started college and met you guys, it was the first time in my life that I felt like I belonged to a group. I always had friends growing up, but I never felt like I belonged anywhere. Entering college, I was scared that I would still never find a solid group of friends, then we all met and my fears diminished. I was at one of the happiest times of my life. Honestly it was all because of you guys, my friends. Scratch that -- my best friends. I cherished our friendship more than you could ever imagine. You all were there for me when I needed that extra push to do something scary, or when I just needed to hear some words of encouragement. You all were the reason that college started to feel like a home away from home.
I’m not sure when it all started changing, but I think it all started when I realized maybe I was changing. I felt lost, and lonely, I couldn't bear the thought of spending another two years or even another day here at this college. Every day felt like it was lined with gray. Maybe we were too close of friends, maybe I was homesick to a fault, or maybe I just realized college wasn’t exactly as remarkable as I thought it should be. I couldn't find the happiness that college started out with and I think you realized that, too. But I also want you to know that this change wasn't because of you. I was finding out more about myself every day and all of these findings were leading me to something I knew would be hard -- transferring.
When I told you I was leaving, I want you to know I was scared. Maybe deep down I knew that we wouldn’t be the same ever again, but I never truly thought that would happen. With all of living across the state, college was what brought us together. But I want you to know that when I said I still wanted to be friends, I wasn’t just saying that like a pitiful breakup saying. I really meant it. I’m hurt by the way we stopped talking. The way our texts turned into ghosts in just a month. It wasn’t easy transferring, but the lack of support made this vast decision hurt that much more.
But I want you to know that I am happy. Transferring was the right decision for me and maybe one day you'll realize that. I see life the way it should be seen -- bright and beautiful. Transferring awakened my inner self that had gone missing. I've found that happiness again, but that doesn't mean I don't miss our group like crazy. I think about all the fun times we had and all the experiences that we get to remember for a lifetime.
To my friends I left when I transferred, transferring wasn't an easy thing; sometimes I think it was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to debate about. Most importantly, though, I want you to know that I'm happy and that I miss you.
