Dear New Girlfriend,
You know who you are, so there’s no reason for me to name you. I know what you’re thinking: “How dare she write an article about me!” But before you starting freaking out or judging me or texting your best friend to tell her how much you hate me, please give me a chance and read what I have to say. I’ve wanted to write this article for a while. I wanted to be ugly and mean and tell you all about how I can see the things you Tweet about me even though you think I can’t see them because you blocked me. But the more and more I think about it, the more I realize that nothing that happened between my ex, your current boyfriend, and me has anything to do with you and is not your fault. Regardless, though, I have some things to say to you.
1. I Apologize.
The first thing that I want to say to you is that I apologize. I want to apologize for disrespecting you and your relationship. I’m sorry for texting your boyfriend or texting him back whenever he has texted me. I apologize for hanging out with him even though I knew it would upset you. I apologize for turning your boyfriend into a liar and making him hide things from you. I apologize for talking badly about you and disliking you for no reason. I apologize for blaming all my mistakes on you. I apologize for putting unnecessary strain on your otherwise healthy relationship. I, too, have been in this situation with a different boy, and I wondered why in the world a girl would talk to someone who is already in a relationship. I’m not making excuses for myself, but it’s not easy letting go of someone you’ve been so close to for so long. Regardless, I apologize for breaking the "girl code," which exists whether or not we’re friends. I know sorry doesn’t fix things, but I thought it was time to take responsibility for my actions and admit to my wrongs.
2. I Don’t Hate You.
Let’s face it, we’re both from the same small city, and I know if I can live two hours away and still hear the things you say about me, I can safely assume that the same can be said for you. I want to clear the waters and let you know I don’t hate you. I know you probably don’t care, but I do. I don’t like people believing or assuming false things about me, and even though we went to the same high school, let’s be honest: We never talked to one another, and we don’t know each other well enough to decide if we like each other (let alone decide whether or not we dislike each other). Maybe one day we can actually talk and get to know one another, but for now I think we can agree that we don’t have to like each other to respect one another.
3. Appreciate Him.
You can take my advice with a grain of salt if you want. After all, you’re his current girlfriend, and I’m his ex, but please remember how long we were together, and I would advise that you not take him for granted. No, he doesn’t have a lot of time to hang out because he works an extreme amount of long hours. No, he doesn’t like to talk on the phone after work. No, he doesn’t spend every off day with you. However, yes, he does drive to see you an hour out of his way when he doesn’t have to when he does find time. Yes, he does take care of you whenever you need something or you don’t feel good. Yes, he is trying to make something of himself and be better, and all these things are something to be proud of. Appreciate everything he does because he doesn’t have to do it. Don’t nag him or get upset with him. Understand that he’s doing the best he can with what he’s got. Help him when you can, and support him every other time because he needs someone to be there for him. Relationships, especially with a hard-headed, driven guy like him, are going to require a lot of sacrifice. Realize this is not a bad thing, and appreciate the fact that you have such a great guy and aren’t stuck with a jerk.
There’s a lot more I could say, but for now, I think I’ve said enough. If anything I’ve said has offended you or the fact that I wrote this article at all has upset you, please believe me when I say that wasn’t my intention.
This is more for me than it is for you,
Alex
