I'm sorry. I know that this does not say much but I truly am. I know you kept saying that you separating was not my fault. I've been told you've had issues even before I came along. But no matter what flaws and mistakes the two of you made, I want you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the times where I felt that you needed to stay in your unfortunate situation because of me. I hope that you forgive me for that.
I was sensitive to the fact that I couldn't imagine growing up in a broken home. Turns out that it was already broken. From the outside, it didn't look as broken as it really was. But on the inside it was nothing but a pure shattered mess. The other fact was that there was so much that needed to be kept a secret. I understand that. From what I also understand is that it has been a rocky ride even before I came along. I need to realize that it wasn't all because of me or anything I did. But I should have just let you two separate in order to gather yourselves together. The concept of a happy home was one thing that I would always see on all the sitcoms we would watch together when I was growing up. The amount of times that we would laugh hysterically at all the scenarios would be one of the best moments I'll cherish. I realize that the best way to handle pain is to just laugh off the pain you're going through.
I will also say this; while you two were dealing with what you were dealing with, I also want to thank you. Thank you for putting up with me and everything I put you through. Thank you for being the parents that you were. While things were not perfect in your marriage, I would hope that there were days where I would put a smile on your faces. You two are the most hardworking, funniest, and smartest people I know. Nothing I repeat NOTHING about that will ever change.
There were certainly some good times that I will always cherish and remember. With all the Christmas' and birthdays you've given to me, I could not be any more thankful. I apologize for getting upset and salty over the fact that when you said that you simply 'could not get it for me now' it meant that you simply did not have the access to get me what I wanted. Even if it meant that those pair of jeans from Hollister were not going to be mine. Besides the point, you did what you could and that's all that even mattered. I also thank you for encouraging me through the bad times where I felt that I would not ever have made it through. Whether it was not passing one of my hardest regent exams to passing all of them the next year. To me not getting my permit/drivers license the first time to me getting the both of them and a chance to get myself a way to work & friends. Thank you for all the times that you have encouraged me and pushed me. Without that push, it would not inspire me to be person that I am today. The person that I am today is someone that keep pushing for something. If I want something, I know that I won't be able to get it the easy way. I realize that I would need to work twice as hard to get what I want. Sometimes I realize that's okay. I know it will come with some frustrating moments. But those moments are not meant to last forever.
Finally, I say this. I hope that within the next couple of years that the two of you will be able to build a cordial relationship to where we can all be in the same room without having to feel that weird feeling. We should all be able to eventually leave the past where it is supposed to be. Along the way, we have all made mistakes that we're not proud of. We have all done things that we regret because we were too busy being mad at our situation. I for one do NOT want to be angry forever. I don't want to be sad forever. I want the peace and forgiveness to come along but I know that it will take time. That will be left in God's hands and I have no doubt that he will make sure of it.
As worried as I used to be, I know that I can't be scared of divorce if I'm not even in a serious relationship right now. That time will come, and I would hope that someone comes along where he will be loyal, strong, understanding, and respects me both as a wife and overall individual. Those things will come. I can rest assured that I will make a promise to myself and that is to promise that I will not say 'I Do' without truly, truly meaning it.
So to two of the best people I know. I'm sorry things didn't go the fairytale way you thought they were going to go. I apologize for my emotions wanting you two to stay together. Since it was only for the sake of myself, please live and continue living your best lives the way you should. I will continue to be there for the both of you and love you both unconditionally. One day when I do decide to marry someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, I will make sure he's the right one that will pour his equal amount of love that you both continue to spread all over me. Thank You...for EVERYTHING!
Your last daughter