I was supposed to be your little girl, but I can now say with confidence that I’m so much better off without you.

It has taken a very long time for me to be able to say that. I gave you so many chances to be apart of my life, but every time you made me question why I thought you would ever change. I used to think that our relationship was normal. The screaming and the belittling of my confidence. I thought that was a normal father-daughter relationship. Still to this day I feel as if to you, I was a job… a job that you never wanted. I was never a bad kid, I always did what you asked of me, I kept my room clean, I picked up after myself. I never did anything to deserve the way you treated me. You treated me like I was a nuisance to your life. Over the years, you have taken so many steps back in our relationship. After I give you another chance, it’s like you laugh in my face and say ‘haha just kidding’. Well I’ve overcome so much without your help or support. I’ve been through hell and back without you even knowing.

Growing up playing softball, I got the chance to see what a father-daughter relationship was supposed to be like. I always thought that I would be able to fix our relationship. Maybe if I played better in a game, if I didn’t walk too hard while you were working, if I stayed out of your office. I tried everything and nothing ever seemed to work. I always tried to find a way to forgive you, no matter what it was that you did to lose my trust. I knew that if I gave up on our relationship, we wouldn't have one. Being so young and impressionable, the only thing that came out of that, was me thinking that I would always have to work to maintain a relationship with a man, because I thought I wasn’t good enough. As a father, you were supposed to set an example of how a man should treat a women. You did the exact opposite of that. Luckily, I realized that there was no way possible that a man should treat anyone, the way you treated me.

After you left, I wasn’t sure if I ever wanted to speak to you again, but after a year of no contact, you made it pretty clear to me that you didn’t want me to be apart of your life. One day I decided to try to give you one more chance. Looking back at it now, I have no idea why I even tried. Having a father who constantly lets you down gets exhausting. Time and time again, I gave you chances to be a part of my life. There came a point in my life when I realized that since you left me, I could leave too. Now, granted I felt guilty for a while for giving up, but you gave up a long time before I did. I’m not the type of person to cut others off. I am a caring, kind-hearted person, who has other's best interest at heart. It was a long time before I was able to say, “I’m done being the only one trying.”

I don’t want to be in connection with a father who doesn’t want to be apart of his own daughter's life.

You leaving was the best thing you ever could have done for me. You brought so much chaos into my life. I no longer had to walk on eggshells, hoping that I wouldn't piss you off. I no longer wondered if I wasn't good enough for you, because I realized it was me who was so much better off without you. I feel sorry that you missed out on getting to be apart of my life, but then again I don’t. The actions that you chose to take made me so much more independent, and made me realize my worth as a human being. One day, I hope to find a husband who knows how to treat a women. A man who puts his family first, a man who not only appreciates me, but appreciates our kids and makes them feel loved. I hope that my daughter knows, that her father loves her, and would do anything to protect her. When I get married, I will walk down the aisle without you. Leaving you behind, the man who was supposed to show me what I deserve. In a way you did… the exact opposite of you.