If one of your friends has ever looked at you and said “thanks mom” or referred to you as their mother; congratulations, you are the mom friend. If you can't think of a friend that takes care of you like your mom when she's not around; congratulations, it's probably you.
You’re in a peculiar place, you really are, because somewhere the fact that you care more about others than the average human being got mistaken for the feeling that you are a mom. Scientifically speaking, this makes no sense. Metaphorically speaking, it makes less sense.
I am the mom friend; I don’t remember the last time I gave life advice and did not get a “what would I do without you mom,” or “you’re the best mom,” or gave relationship advice that wasn’t received with “that’s terrible advice” because I don’t get friend-zoned... I get mom-zoned. Keep up with the mom friend lingo.
There are loads of benefits to being the mom friend. To name a few, you get to know everyone’s life stories (which I love but it only fuels my nosy tendencies), as well as getting to give unsolicited advice. And if giving unsolicited advice to your friends isn’t enough for you, start a blog. Give unsolicited advice to the whole internet and blame it on being the mom friend. Trust me, it works.
There are drawbacks to being the mom friend, in all seriousness. You are not obligated to lift up everyone around you even though you constantly feel that way. It’s OK to need to take care of yourself and be your own mom for awhile. It’s OK to need to deal with your own problems and put yourself first. You get lost in the mess of reminding people what they need to do and where they need to be at all times and that’s great but you also need to remind yourself. Being the mom friends does not mean you don’t get to be a priority in your own life.
It is lovely that you feel good when your friends are successful but it is not lovely that you feel guilty when they aren’t. It’s not your job. Repeat that 100 times. You might be labeled the mom friend but you are not their actual mom. It’s not your fault they didn’t do what you told them, not everyone values unsolicited advice like strangers on the internet do.
You’ve been given an incredible gift of being caring and nurturing and you should use that to your full advantage. Be caring and nurturing to all your friends, but don’t forget about yourself.
