Ever since I was 11 or 12 I have been on-again, off-again vegetarian. I have always wanted to stop eating meat for moral reasons but then something would come up like, "I'm going home to a family of carnivores," or, "I'm worried about losing iron intake," or, "The cafeteria at school made hotdogs today and they just smell really good."

It's hard to convince yourself to give up something that has been a part of your life for so long. There was a point when I gave up gluten for awhile but eventually I started eating that again too.

I have commitment issues according to my therapist (note: don't actually have a therapist. I'm also a liar).

I'm at a point again when I want to try this whole vegetarian thing. I like animals and I've watched enough documentaries and read enough articles to convince myself that the way we obtain meat in America is not healthy. It is not healthy for us or the cows, chickens, pigs, or whatever other livestock people eat. Added hormones and antibiotics create problems for the cows, and they are in the milk we drink, the milk their wee babies drink, and the meat we eat. Animals that are not raised grass-fed are force fed a weird corn mixture that fattens them up and they can't even really digest it. Overall, it's bad news.

My problem about being vegetarian isn't a moral one. It's more of willpower situation. I like meat and I like eating meat. I can't afford the organic grass-fed meat, therefore I eat processed, probably unethically raised meat. I want to reach a point in my life where I don't feel guilty about it, and the only solution I have found so far is to not eat meat.

Maybe I'll still eat it every now and then. It's hard to go full vegetarian or vegan when everyone in your family is an avid meat eater. Also, I really like fish and I worry about how I'm going to get enough protein or iron.

I love the idea of being a vegetarian. I watch a lot of cooking videos about vegan and vegetarian recipes that look delicious and there are meat alternatives I have eaten that taste really good and pretty similar to what I was eating before. I've been slowly transitioning to a meat free diet (slow because I need to get rid of the meat in my freezer and I'm not just going to throw it out like an animal). There are bound to be others like me out there, people who want to give up meat but don't know how or are scared about how others will react.

My little animal loving heart is beginning to win over my meat eating brain and maybe that isn't a bad thing. I'm still doing my research and I'm still stuck in a sort of limbo, but maybe one day I'll get there.

Or maybe the hotdogs will win again. Who knows....?