The worst part about this is knowing I was an outlet to your sadness and grief — when I was left to believe I had grown an emotional attachment to you over the past couple years. This is all too real, to live with the reality that I convinced myself you grew that same emotional attachment back to me. Emotional attachment is strange, it's hard to explain to someone but you have all the words in your mind to explain. I couldn't explain it myself, and it never stays the same with people — there's always something different with that connection you have with them. The feelings are different, the vibes are different, the conversations are different, they alone become different with the more you two open up.

The upcoming realization, "God, I've become emotionally attached to you and now that you've left — there's this empty spot in this puzzle, with the explanation of 'Where did we go wrong'?" Where did I go wrong? The self-proclaimed guilt and blame that they left because of you, when I can assure you it wasn't. Another lesson from me to share and hope to help? Well, let's put this as a lesson the Universe gave us, (or whomever you believe gives you these lessons.) another lesson in the books of having to face the pain of emotional attachment. How to face it, and how to tell yourself it's okay to let them go, that if they are meant to be in your life once again — they will come back. When? I wish I knew, but time is the one to tell on that part.

Emotional attachment, a feeling of openness to another-a feeling of trust to show them your emotional side. (No, this isn't an actual definition-I'm not that literate.) A trusting bond, to expose your emotions to one another, to release that excess pain, anger, sadness, painful memories, etc... A bond that could make you both inseparable. Growing such a connection takes time, mass amounts of trust, and sometimes for many people, myself included, it could take us months to even tell you the simplest of grief. But once that connection is brought to the surface, either one or both of you reach for this connection and grow from it. Or, in some cases, only one of you reach for it and feel this overpowering connection this person.

And they, do not.

Here's my catch to it all though, as painful as the realization comes to having yourself, or even another person tell you, "you were just an outlet to there, was no connection on their end" (or something like that). Having to step outside of this bubble you two built together out of the trust and share of emotions, to see that there is no line of connection that reaches their end — the dead end of where you had reached so eagerly to have with them while they had continued on without building more. While you stand outside this bubble staring at where this connection comes to a complete halt, this is where you come to the first thought in your mind, what happened? Usually, there is no exact explanation to why they never reached to have that emotional attachment/connection with you or there is but it's nearly impossible to dig up or search for when there's this gap of a stronger connection between you both. Sometimes, it becomes the most emotional, exhausting and draining experience trying to find a solution or answer to why this person has either refused or never cared to reach for this, but again, this is when you have to sit yourself down and ask yourself; "Is it worth fighting to keep them around?"

You want to tell yourself, 'yes it is, I don't want to lose them' but, the answer to this is, 'no-I'll be okay without them. I'll recover from this.' (Or however you wish to phrase it to yourself, this is my own thought process on this.) And you sit on your bed or couch, battling your emotions over this one person whom you believed grew this special connection with, days can pass, weeks and even months before you can finally tell yourself; 'I'll be okay without them.'

And you will be, with time and patience-reminding yourself it will take time to heal and learn to build a connection like that again, but with caution as supposed to the first one. Another person will cross your path who will grow a similar connection, but will grab onto that emotional attachment as you will (when the time is right that is) and together will it bloom into something beautiful. But to allow yourself to grow this new connection, you must let go of the first person, as hard as it may be to do so — something beautiful will come from a negative end.

Connections with others will come and go, some that will last for a little while, some that may last for a lifetime. But there is no telling who they may be, or where time will take you both as time and future itself can hold something completely different.

As to the ones that I had to watch from outside the bubble I had with you, to see that emotional attachment I had grown to you not reach your end — it was painful to endure and absolutely emotional to come to the realization that I was only a mere outlet to you, but I forgive you. This connection wasn't meant to stay for a lifetime, as I had hoped and dreamed it would be. But I've learned to move on from it, I've learned that connections are a precious and life-changing experience as it can stronger or weaken within the progression of it. And I want to thank you for giving me that safety and openness that you provided for the short time it was there.

I'm going to be okay moving on from it, and anyone who is struggling with it as well — we will all find time to heal and move on.