To the "motherless" on Mother's Day,
It's a cloudy day in Morgantown today, but I just keep reminding myself that summer is coming. Mother's Day is the kind of day that makes you want to celebrate life and love and all things good - or if you're like me, maybe it doesn't. Maybe it makes you want to bring out all of your old picture albums and laugh about the good times you had with your mom while she was still alive.
Or maybe it just makes you sad.
Hold on, I'll explain.
1 p.m., Morgantown time, and I'm sitting here at my computer and thinking about the fact that one of the hardest days of my year is right around the corner. My mother passed away on May 1st, 2013 from a variety of health issues. That's right, it's been four years this May. May is the hardest month of the year for me because it contains the anniversary of her death AND Mother's Day. I've set aside a few hours today to write this letter to all of the "motherless" people out there on Mother's Day, but I'm not sure if there is anything I can really say to make this day easier for you. For four years, I have been "motherless" on Mother's Day and in some ways, it has gotten easier, but in other ways, the pain is just as raw as it was four years ago. And that's how it is for everyone, right? The fire in the pit of your stomach eventually dies out, but the scar of the burn is still there. It's always there. Motherless daughters (and sons) are reminded of this all the time: graduations, weddings, baby showers, Christmas, etc. And especially on Mother's Day.
One thing I have learned from my experience is that life will change, and sometimes there is nothing you can do about it. One minute, my mom was there, and in the next minute, she wasn't. In one minute my entire life changed. You may feel the same way, and you may be crushed by unbearable grief. I am here to tell you; you can bear it.
Please don't give up.
When my mom died, I thought I would never be happy again. I was wrong.
I thought I would never experience love again. I was wrong about that, too.
To anyone whose mother has recently died, it will get better. I promise. The death of your loved one will always be a part of you, but it will not always define everything you do.
You may feel that your life will never be the same again. It won't. The good news is that one day you will move forward and you will be different, but you will no longer be broken. You will be okay.
There are so many gifts my mother has given me in her life and in her death. She has made me stronger. She has taught me that I can withstand anything that life throws my way.
While my mother was alive, she sacrificed for me, she loved me, she cared for me, nurtured me, prayed with me, and held me together when I couldn't do it myself.
Her memory still does those things for me. And her prayers still live on, even though she is dead.
You may think it isn't fair that this happened to you. And you're right. It isn't, but I want you to know something. The love that your mother had for you is still there, and the love you have for her is as real today as it was when she was alive.
You are in pain BECAUSE you loved her.
You are motherless, but you are not alone.
I am with you today.
I encourage you to send love and prayers to everyone without a mother today, and to always remember, you are never alone.
