"Are you OK?"
The correct answer is to say that I'm fine, right? The same when someone passes you on the street and asks, "How's it going?" the expected is to offer a simple, "Good, you?"
There is a stigma to not being OK, and as soon as someone notices you're not, they engage Superman-mode to save you from everything they can't understand or they distance themselves because you broke the status quo. The thing about the status quo is that life happens. Stress, heartbreak, loss, pressure, jobs, school, boyfriends, girlfriends, moms, dads, bosses, bills -- it all piles up and some of us break. It happens. Even Superman had a weakness.
So this is for all the super people who want to save me from my Kryptonite. This is what you should know.
1. If I say I don't want to hang out, it's not because of you.
Sometimes, all we need is to lay down in bed, watch some BuzzFeed videos and read Pinterest DIYs we'll never do instead of a night out. It's really not you. We just feel bad for being so heavily down, and we don't want to drag you with us. This time alone also lets us reflect on our situation to figure out how we really feel without the outside influences of friends and that can be a really positive thing.
2. Your texts checking up on me are appreciated.
Even if I don't respond, it is nice to know that someone cares enough to go out of their way -- even just that little bit -- to send a text.
3. No offense, I am probably not going to take your advice.
Yes, it's logical, it makes total sense and would probably make my life a lot easier to do what you're suggesting. However, it is an entirely different world inside the my overwhelmed mind, and I'm sorry that I can't see the good in what you're saying.
4. Please don't do that comparison thing.
If you ask how my day went and I tell you I had a long day at work and I worked six hours, please don't tell me about how you worked for 10. If I say I slept for four hours and I'm exhausted, then don't tell me you slept for two and that you're the tired one. At the end of that conversation, I still had a long day and need a damn nap.
5. Even if you say otherwise, then I'm going to feel like a burden to you.
This is part of why I don't want to hang out because I don't want to feel like you're being dragged down with me. I feel appreciated and bad when you go out of your way to check on me because you shouldn't have to.
6. Ignore the downward spiral on occasion.
Sometimes all we need is to watch Beyoncé's "Lemonade" and cry to some Adele. Yeah, it's a little sad, pathetic even, but also cathartic. And please don't judge us if we go from not eating in three days to eating six cupcakes alone on a Monday at 1 am. It happens.
7. Thank you.
Thank you for all the texts checking in, the Facebook messages, going out of your way for me, all of it. Though when I'm like this, I feel bad, and when things start looking up again, I will realize how much you really care. When you tell me to go to bed early and bring me snacks, it means the world that you were willing to stick by me, even if I asked you not to. I might slip back into this in a few weeks or months, who knows, but thank you for being there through it all. I'll be back to normal soon, so don't worry too much.
