I grew up with separated parents, but just because it's been like that all my life doesn't make it any easier. The one time my father was able to come to a Daddy-Daughter dance was overwhelmingly exciting for a girl who never felt like she had two parents. For the longest time, I was angry with you for not choosing me, and only recently did I realize that you did choose me. You just chose you too.
I wish you had been able to go to my softball games and my dance recitals. I wish you had seen me in my school plays and chorus concerts. I wish you were there to make sure I did my homework and read over my papers. I wish you could have taken me out to dinner to celebrate when my report card came back with all A's. I wish you were able to chaperone on field trips. I wish you were there to teach me how to drive and tell me I was going to get my license when I was sure I would fail. I wish you were there to see me head off to prom and take pictures with your little girl. I wish you had been around to intimidate the boys I thought were good enough for me. I wish you had been there to move me into my college dorm.
Not seeing you every day sucks, but it's made me the person I am, and for that I am grateful. I'll always feel like I'm missing out on memories, no matter who I'm with for that Thanksgiving or Easter. Good things have come out of our situation though. It means I get two Christmases, two rooms, two homes, and two families who love me to death. It means that I get to experience different places, foods, and lifestyles. It means I've developed an attachment to airports because I've spent so much time waiting at a gate, texting you and Mom to let you know when I get where I'm going. It means that even though you live hundreds of miles away, you're always only a text away.
You weren't always there. You couldn't be, but you took every effort to make up for that. You asked me what foods I wanted and made sure I felt at home. We still get to toss a ball back and forth, play video games, make pizza and watch horror movies while eating mint chocolate chip ice cream with butterscotch. You can still keep trying to teach me how to drive standard. Since we don't get to see each other every day, we try to squeeze all those things into three weeks or less and it makes everything count a little more. I may have not grown up seeing you everyday, but the similarities between us are scary. Thank you for all the times you checked in to ask me how my classes are, tried to keep track of all my friends' names, asked what I wanted to do this trip. It doesn't go unnoticed. Thank you for making the trips full of fun, great talks, and lots of love. As I've gotten older, I'm aware that it's hard for you too.
You are so much more to me than just a father who pays half of my tuition and skypes with me twice a month. You are someone I can confide in and I know will never judge me for the mistakes I make. You are such a loving and caring dad and I know that, although the distance is hard for us both, it has only made our relationship better.
