Maybelline. CoverGirl. Rimmel. L'Oreal. Physician's Formula. Neutrogena. Revlon.
So many famous brands have come across my dresser in the past 7 years that I have used makeup. However, I feel as though the only thing that has stayed the same during those years was the reason why I started to use makeup.
When I was a student in seventh grade, I remember my homeroom teacher remarking on some of my classmates were wearing "too much makeup for an eleven-year-old." What he had seen was various colors of the Lip Smackers lip gloss and lip balm that my classmates had applied in the bathroom just before our morning assembly. I secretly felt proud of myself that I had not been noticed for wearing actual makeup (yes, concealer and foundation were a part of my basic routine by middle school). I thought of myself as an undercover agent whose mission was to be noticed as a normal girl who didn't have imperfect skin and unequal eyebrows.
Every day was a matter of success or failure and some days, there were multiple failures that tore down my self-esteem into crumbling pieces of rubble. On those days, I hated how fake I felt applying the foundation in whatever form it was that month, whether it be liquid, powder, or some strange of the two. But what I hated more was how weak I felt without it. For God's sake, I wasn't even in high school yet and I couldn't go to class unless I had on my shield of makeup.
In comparison, there were successes that had me feeling like I could take on the world once I finished applying the perfect amount of eye shadow or getting my lipstick on flawlessly the first time. I felt a new level of confidence in me that was previously unattainable. I quickly used this to my advantage and still do to this day, especially if I have an important assignment due or an interview for a job position.
As I grew older, I noticed how the media and those around me saw that girls my age were being pressured into looking thinner, younger, and comparable to a Barbie doll. As we all know this is physically impossible, it still confuses me as to why women everywhere attempt to succeed in this field. However, I can't say anything because they go through the same motions I do, just for different reasons. While I do this for myself today, I know there are women out there who felt the way I did when I was younger (and on some days, still do) and refuse to leave the house unless they have on a basic application of foundation.
Today, it stuns me how much I've changed since seventh grade in the aspect of how I view makeup and its affect on me. I still see myself as that secret agent who wants to blend in with the crowd but now I have a view outside of my childhood imagination thanks to my experiences over the years.
"I believe that all women are pretty without makeup - but can be pretty powerful with the right makeup." -Bobbi Brown
