I'm not sure if this post will find you, or if you will even read it. Truthfully, I do not have a clue if you read anything I write or keep tabs on me besides the occasional like on an Instagram photo. It is crazy to think how far and fast we have grown apart.
Throughout high school, we were inseparable. You were my other half, and truthfully, my better half - driving to school together, sharing our deepest secrets, and spending almost every breathing moment together. You had me thinking soulmates were not about relationships but true friendships. When we graduated and went our separate ways, I never doubted we would grow a bit distant, but never like this. Although we were going to different states, I still thought we would keep in touch and see each other on breaks. Clearly, that didn't happen. I can't remember the last time we spoke, but I do know we left on good terms. So what happened?
Is it your fault or mine that we lost touch? I don't think either, possibly just extenuating circumstances. We both dove deep into our college lives. We made certain choices and went off in different directions. I was busy when you were not, and you were busy when I wasn't. Our loss of connection wasn't a personal choice. Life just happened that way. I never purposely tried to lose touch, and I hope I didn't do anything to increase the vast distance between us.
There are many days which pass when I think of you or something exciting happens and I want to share it with you. Then I think about how much time has passed and if it would be weird randomly calling you. Certain songs still trigger memories of you. In fact, there are some songs I can't listen to because I miss you so much. Random actions have a profound effect on me. When I traded in my car, I felt like I was trading in all the laughs and secrets revealed through those endless hours of driving. It is silly how random objects can trigger an emotional effect. I won't throw out the bracelets you gave me or delete the photos we took together. I still hope one day we can reconnect, although it might not be like it was before.
Truthfully, I don't know if you feel the same way. I would like to think you do, but maybe too much time has passed, or maybe I am nothing but a faint memory from high school. Regardless, I still care about you. When I hear you have achieved some sort of success, I feel incredibly happy for you knowing how well deserved those achievements are. It goes without saying that I am still here for you if you need me. Yes, you live in a different state and it has been months since we spoke, but I promised to be that shoulder for you to cry on, and I intend to keep that promise. At one point in both our lives, we were each other's sounding board, that may not be the case anymore, but you still matter to me, and time doesn't change that.
Maybe you will see this; maybe you won't. Maybe other people will see this and reach out to those who they lost contact with. There are a lot of "maybes" that I am thinking about during this essay. Regardless, I wish you nothing but the best and hope you get everything you wish for out of life.
