Likes. It is just one of those things that we are all dying to have. Whether it is the likes of our classmates or the likes of our coworkers and friends, there is never a "enough" amount of how much likes we can have. Even if we have a certain amount, we are always craving for more. Getting a certain number of likes on social media, especially is a trace of popularity and social status for us. But what happens when we hit a new milestone for that special number?

I have never ever gotten a hundred likes on any of the social media platforms before. Although I have more than a thousand followers on my Instagram, I usually do not get more than about fifty likes whenever I post something new on my account. Likes are somewhat important to me, but I never realized how big of a deal it was, until I realized people around me getting more than a hundred likes on their posts. I took a moment and began to think, "Hmm, is this the norm?" It's only human nature to want attention and the things other people have. I have started wondering what that feeling of having that number of likes would be like.

And so, that day happened to come a bit earlier than expected. I uploaded a post of me holding my puppy, Teddy on Instagram and saw how the post instantly blew up. This was a first time for me, since I have never seen any of my posts garner that much attention from my followers before. The thing I have begun to realize with achieving a milestone of a number of likes on a social media post is that it opens doors for more competition and more wanting of approval from followers. It becomes a never ending ride at a carnival. The moment where you realize you want to get off of the ride, but can't because the ride has only begun. That is how I felt when I found out I had gotten a hundred likes on that post on Instagram.

The joy of going on a ride at a carnival is the thrill of it. But what happens when you feel nauseous and just want to get off. Or more realistically, what happens if someone is afraid of getting sick and wants to get off immediately to avoid that? As much as I enjoy getting likes on my Instagram posts, I am worried for that part of me that existed before I have achieved this milestone. The me that was satisfied with only getting fifty or less likes. The me who didn't expect a certain number of likes from my followers. All of this is jeopardized once I realize there is a new milestone I have unlocked. The fear of the unknown becomes extremely devastating.

I enjoy going on rides at the carnival. It is new and exciting. Something worth living for. But at the same time, I don't want to have to live solely for that. I want to live for myself and the part of me that existed before I even found out these rides even existed. Likes are exciting but at the end of the day, they cannot determine who I am or the person I want to be. It is just one of the things I like seeing in my notification feed, not what I want to see when I look in the mirror.