There are a lot of you out there and it’s not just the dumb boys I let in. It's the friendships that fizzled with no warning. It is the relationships that turned out to be unimportant. It is the bullies or mean girls that I never stood up to. After all of that, then it is the dumb boys I let in. You’ve all broken my heart in one way or another. It hurts just thinking about my experiences with all of you. This is to each and every one of you that I consider one of my heartbreakers.

To my “friends” that let our friendship end with no notice, what did I do? It is one thing to let a friendship fade after a while, but you ended our friendship with no explanation. You ignore my texts and act like you don’t even know me. Trying to figure out what I said or did to make you do something so cruel is probably the worst feeling in the world. Maybe I’m giving you too much credit. Maybe you don’t even realize what you’re doing. So here I am telling you how brutal that is to do to someone you once called your best friend, let alone to a human being. I hope for your sake you learn how wrong that is. I hope that you never put anyone else through that type of pain.

To the boys I let in or friends that I thought I was important to but wasn’t, why? Why did you make me feel special and significant to let me down later? I don’t understand why honesty is so overrated to you. I wish there had been someway to know that I was just a surface level friend or hookup. Although these heartbreaks were the easiest to get over, they still made an impression on how I choose my relationships. Thank you to you guys for making me cautious with friends and boys. Sometimes I am too cautious but I am forever thankful because you might have saved me from many more heartbreaks if I was not the careful person I am today.

To the middle school bullies, thank you. After all the tears and heartbreak that I endured from you, I came out a stronger person that I ever could have imagined. I never thought middle school boys could be so mean but you were. You tore me down every day. I stayed quiet because I knew one day I would be doing great things and you would be stuck in a fantasy world where you were top dog. If the boys weren’t bad enough, middle school girls were the worst. There was always a rumor or mean gossip floating around. I never wanted to be part of it. When I refused to be part of it, I became the center of it. It was hard to think that it would get better, but it eventually did. I am thankful for that rough time in my life because it showed me how cruel some people could be but it showed me there would be people in my corner no matter what.

To my middle school friends, I don’t know what I would have done without you. I was lucky enough to find friends quickly even though those surface friendships faded quickly. Everyone found their own groups and followed their own interests. However, when we did this we found what we thought were true friends. For the first time in our lives, we found mature friendships. It wasn’t play dates anymore it was late night conversations about life and what it was really about. The middle school friendships I had were probably the most real and raw I will ever have but so were the heartbreaks. I want to thank all of you, even those of you who treated me dreadfully. Thank you for showing me what it meant to be a friend and how to hold my own when a “friend” treated me so badly. Thank you for being so genuine and honest. All though it’s an awkward, confusing time, most of you made it that much easier.

To my future heartbreakers, be careful. I know I have much heartbreak ahead of me. I am a young college student who doesn’t know what she is going to do with her life. Please tread lightly if you plan on being in my life. I honestly don’t know how much more pain I can handle. All I ask is that you’re honest with me. Tell me if I am doing something wrong or if I am being too opinionated. Tell me what I can do to improve or even save a relationship that might be fading. I hope that as I get older heartbreak will get easier but I know that is probably close to impossible. I know that one day I will find true friends and a man to love me for who I am, even if it takes a million more heartbreaks.