I don't know about any of you, but there are so many times I've found myself in a situation where I felt completely lost, defeated and small because I felt like I wasn't good enough to get through something and end up where I thought I should be.
But the situation becomes worse when you allow someone else to make you feel this way. It's one thing to encounter a situation or issue in life that you feel like you can't overcome because of your natural, human imperfections...but it's another to allow yourself to stay in a debilitating state physically and/or emotionally by allowing yourself to be subjugated to someone else's evaluations of your self-worth.
It's completely natural in life to wish things would be a certain way or that so-and-so would or wouldn't have a particular habit or would look or act a certain way. But it is completely unnecessary to turn to someone you love and say, "If only you were this person instead." When you love someone, you're vulnerable. Your fences aren't up anymore and the walls that you've had built up have been broken down. The last thing you need to hear from someone you trust is that for some reason, maybe even for a reason you can't control, you're almost enough.
You're almost pretty enough to be seen with me. You almost have the qualities that my parents would appreciate. If you only acted this way, then I'd want a relationship with you.
You're almost everything I want.
There's always going to be an exception to being everything someone wants. Everyone has unsightly habits. Everyone makes mistakes, says things they shouldn't sometimes or has areas to improve. But that doesn't make it okay to treat anyone as if they need to be something or someone else to satisfy you and what you want from them.
My call to action tonight is this. Realize that you're enough in God's eyes. Every imperfection is beautiful-- every struggle is worth it when it gets you closer on the path you need to be on. And don't forget that you aren't alone. When you finally stand up and fight for the life you deserve to live, some people won't stick around because they won't get what they want from you anymore. And that's okay, because as long as you're bettering yourself you never need to feel guilty.
This is your life to live. For me, that means growing closer to and more mature in my relationship with Christ, because that's what gives my life meaning, not just for the here and now but for eternity. When we stop holding on to the situation that has us barely surviving in the guilt, shame, disgust and hurt that we've come to know, God can work and do what He desires for us. And what He desires for us is so much greater than anything we could ever do for ourselves.
